It looks like our wait might be longer than we thought…

On Thursday we received a letter from our adoption agency that indicated we might not know who our Savannah is for quite some time. They originally said we could expect to wait 1-3 months for a referral (adoption-ese for matching us with a child). However, our agency now expects that it could be as long as 6-9 months, with another 3-6 months on top of that before we can travel. So, my dreams of having her home before Alyssa’s birthday in November are definitely gone – we’ll be lucky to have her home by Parker’s birthday in June! Of course all of this is just a guess. Since Vietnam has only recently re-opened adoptions with the U.S., even our agency is in the dark about when referrals will be coming in. I’m hoping they are dead wrong and that they’ll get at least a few babies soon. We’re 3rd on the list for a girl, one of which is waiting for a baby under 12 months, so if two toddler girls became available we’d presumably get one. Needless to say I’m hopeful, but more than a little bummed. All of this just highlights one of the things I’ve found to be most difficult about this process: the total lack of control. At least when you’re pregnant you can eat right, see your doctor, see the baby through ultrasounds, take your vitamins, etc. Even when you’re trying to get pregnant you can take your temperature, monitor your body’s signs, and all the other fun things that those of you who have experienced even temporary infertility can relate to. But with adoption, once all of your paperwork is complete, it’s entirely in someone else’s hands. Even worse, those hands are often attached to the arms of our woefully inefficient government or a foreign, communist government. Now, I don’t intend to say that I have actually had any more control over the safe arrival of my two biological kids. I just felt like I had more control. So in that way it is good for me to be forced to more consciously depend on God. It’s also God’s great providence that I studied Romans all summer. In chapter 13 verse 1 He reminds us that there is “no authority except from God and the authorities that exist are appointed by God” (Romans 13:1). God can certainly orchestrate all of the issues standing between us and our daughter, and He will bring her to us in His perfect time. He’s promised in Psalm 84:11 that “no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” So the fact that Savannah is not home yet means that her presence is not the best thing for us right now. I’m just hoping and praying that she will be the best thing for us SOON!

Have I mentioned how spoiled we are?

Some dear friends have a beautiful ski boat they insist we use with them far more often than we deserve. This weekend we all went up to the Sacramento River Deltas, a pretty remarkable maze of waterways, some of which are large enough for ocean-going vessels (see the tanker in the background). We had great weather, even better water, and a lot of fun. As you can see, I'm finally getting a little more comfortable on a single ski. The best part was that Dan couldn't even get up on one! He'll kill me for mentioning that, but you must understand that I am NOT athletic and he most definitely IS... so this is a major victory! In his defense, he has only wakeboarded the last few summers, and it is a totally different feel, but it's still fun to gloat. The kids were just angels. We truly abused them, cutting out all but the shortest of naps and keeping them up quite late, but they seem to love the boat too. They never fall asleep on us anymore, so it was a real treat to have them cuddle on us so much. This will probably be the last trip of the season, but then we do have wetsuits, so who knows?

The kiddos having a blast playing with Daddy!

I was planning on writing tonight about cute my new nephew is and how much my children adore him. But then I saw this picture on the website of a woman from our agency who is in Vietnam right now picking up her second daughter. This is the bed little Ella slept in up until last night. The new parents report that most of the children’s heads are completely flat in the back. They sleep with no padding, no blankets, no pillows, no teddy bears. There are no doors and no glass in the windows. There is no air conditioning and no real protection from the elements. Some of the kids were covered with bites from a recent flying ant infestation. Now, I must also say that the parents report that the children appear to be relatively healthy and well-loved. In fact, one has complained that their daughter was quite spoiled from being held almost constantly by either her caretaker or one of the teenagers in the orphanage. From the pictures I’ve seen, the kids look happy. It’s actually quite normal for those who are adopted to grieve the loss of their “home” and nannies. But it truly is heartbreaking for me to see how much our daughter is doing without. Of course, material possessions are not everything, but the lack thereof is even more evidence of how little anyone cares for these precious lives. I can only imagine how difficult it will be to take only one. Unfortunately, they won’t let us take more than one unless they’re twins (which I’m still praying for!). So consider this my plea to each of you, my readers. Adoption is certainly not easy - I personally think it’s much more difficult than pregnancy/labor/all of that – but God has called every believer to care for the fatherless. The sheer volume of instruction in Scripture regarding their plight, as well as His model of the institution of adoption when He called us His children (see Ephesians 1: 4-5), ought to be enough to convince us that we have to do something. In my mind, it’s comparable to our responsibilities regarding foreign missions: go, or support those that do. Okay, please don’t take this as a solicitation for donations to our cause – God has graciously provided for the financial aspect of our adoption – but there are families who want to adopt, but who simply can’t swing the fees. There are organizations out there that would turn your donation into a grant for a Christian adoptive family in need. Even better though: consider adopting a child yourself. Already I can tell you, it’s worth it! We get to be a part of God’s plan, but we also will soon (I hope!) get to enjoy the blessing of the love of a sweet little girl. It’s not just about her you know =). So think about it. Pray about it. Don’t just dismiss this as something for other people. Maybe a little Asian baby, or African baby, or Eastern European baby is in God’s plan for you too!

A few thoughts from Bible Study:

• A song that really touched me:
  
  Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
  Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
  Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done
  Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are
  I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
  A wave tossed in the ocean, vapor in the wind
  Still You hear me when I’m calling
  Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
  And You’ve told me who I am, I am yours…
  
  I’m not sure who wrote it, or where to give the credit, but I’ve quickly grown to love it. It has a great melody, but the best part for me is the last line of the chorus: “I am Yours.” I’ve often thought about belonging to God in the sense that I am His servant and I owe Him my life. While that is true, this song really emphasizes God’s gracious choice of me as the object of His affection. It actually reminded me of how I felt before I met and fell in love with Dan: I wanted to be loved in spite of my faults. Of course Dan has and does do that, but God does it perfectly! He knows my deficiencies even better than Danny does, and each of them is an assault on His holy character, yet He still loves me. Ephesians 1: 4 says “He choose [me] in Him before the foundation of the world, that [I] should be holy and without blame before Him in love” (emphasis mine). In the same way, God chose Israel. Deuteronomy 7:7-8a explains “The LORD did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples, but because the LORD loves you”. What a gracious and loving God we serve!

• A verse that jumped out: Deuteronomy 10:18 “He administers justice for the fatherless…” I think maybe only an adoptive mom could be brought nearly to tears at this passage. God knew I would need to be reminded that He is in control of this adoption process. Today I spoke with Jynger, the program director at our agency, and she confirmed that we’re not any closer to being matched with a child than we were last month. There are still two families in front of us who are waiting for a girl – though one of them has requested a baby under 12 months, so we would be second in line for an older baby. The other one has already been waiting 3 months, so I’m trying to prepare myself for the fact that we could be waiting longer than the original 1-3 month quote. How great it is to know, though, that God cares for our orphan even more than we do. He knows who she is, where she is, who’s feeding her, changing her diapers, giving her hugs. He’ll bring her to us at exactly the right time, and until then, will literally administer the justice that stand between us.

• A student who always makes me laugh: our friend Shannon. She’s writing a book. Who knows if it will ever actually be published, but the title is priceless. I’ll share it here… hopefully she won’t mind. “99 Reasons Not to Go In the Ocean: the ocean is a beautiful and powerful thing, but so are volcanoes – that doesn’t mean you should go in them” She’s considering a second sub-title, which I also think is hilarious “Why would you keep going in something that’s just trying to throw you out?”

The scariest word in Christendom for me: evangelism. So how excited was I when our Bible study shepherd, Joey, announced he was preaching on the subject last Tuesday? Not very. His text was II Timothy 1:7-8a “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord…” This is a passage I’ve memorized many times over the years, but it’s just amazing to me how God’s Word can reveal new truth through the same “old” text. Not that the meaning changes or is intended to mean something different for each person. The Holy Spirit just has a way of helping us understand it better every time we apply ourselves to the truth. So Tuesday, God used Joey to convict me of my cowardice when it comes to sharing what I believe. First of all, the word translated “fear” really means timidity – God doesn’t want me to be timid, but bold. Secondly, the message of the gospel is “power”-ful. It alone holds the power to convince the lost of its truth, and He has equipped me with the power to accomplish His will. Finally, “sound mind” speaks to the fact that the Christian ought to be disciplined in thought and life, with each aspect of life properly prioritized. Now here is where my thinking was really changed on Tuesday: the context is evangelism. I know… not earth-shattering news… all you have to do is read verse 8 to figure that out. But I had never before thought about how my priorities affect my evangelism. We talk about what we know about, whether it be the latest reality show, our jobs, our families, or Christ. We also talk about what is important to us. If God really is first in my life and I’m continually learning more about Him as He’s revealed in Scripture, He will be on my mind and on my lips. Evangelism will be the natural overflow of a life devoted to Him. Not something that I have to manufacture or set out to do as if it were a separate, exclusive activity. So, to those of you that know me, listen to what I say and let me know where my priorities are. Ask me if I’ve been willing to talk to those around me about the Truth. You can then tell me how much I really learned on Tuesday.

We have a boy!!!





Lincoln was born last night to my sister, Sarah, and brother-in-law, Brian. He is so sweet, so adorable, and such a red-head! We weren't altogther suprized by the color, but shocked at the volume. While not quite like my two, who came out with loads of dark hair, his head really is covered with soft orange fuzz. Sarah is doing well too, and we're having such fun cuddling this healthy little one. Alyssa, as you can see, was ready to help do surgery. For weeks now she's been busy packing a diaper bag full of diapers, wipes, pacifiers, toys, changing pad, keys, candy - you name it - to assist with child care as needed. Of course, when it actually came time to change Lincoln's first diaper, the idea proved to be more alluring than the act!

Parker was also a very excited cousin. All of the adults there waiting for the opportunity to hold the new one, had their arms nearly worn off holding the older kids up to see through the window. Parker spent all morning saying "see Lincoln!" and practicing gentle kisses. I think he likes the idea of being the big guy.
It was especially precious to watch Brian fall instantly in-love with his son.
I, of course, am enamored too. Not only with my precious nephew, but with my amazing God who skillfully crafts these little people in ways that not even the most brilliant scientists can understand. I'm baffled by the way my body works and simply stunned by the way those same functions happen in miniature and so shortly after birth. What a shock to leave the comfort and safety of a mother's body, and then to so quickly adapt to light, air, noise, hunger, pain, touch. Only God's mercy and grace can explain the fact that life happens at all. Lord, "I will praise You, for I (and Lincoln!) am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14).

I asked Dan what he thought I should write about in my blog… he said “how sexy your husband is.” While I don’t think any of you want to hear exactly that, I definitely don’t mind using this venue to brag a little on him. Here are a few things I love about Dan:

• At 30 years old, he still doesn’t mind being called Danny.
• He mispronounces his own name – the drycleaner thinks his name is Dean.
• He is an incredible daddy. Alyssa and Parker immediately drop whatever they’re doing when they hear the garage door open, and RUN, screaming to greet him when he gets home from work.
• He prefers home to work.
• He loves his job and takes pride in what he does.
• He doesn’t take his job too seriously (which is significant considering his line of work).
• His relationship with God takes priority over everything else.
• He is a loyal friend. Some of his closest friendships go back to elementary school.
• He loves to go to church and serve those around him.
• He is almost always the first to apologize (shame on me!).
• He respects my opinion, and really listens – even when we disagree.
• He takes good care of his body. He is training for his second marathon and has almost no body fat, despite consuming about 800 calories a day in ice cream.
• He is a beautiful skier – snow and water.
• He makes me laugh.
• He loves my family.
• He is excited about our adoption, even though it means postponing his purchase of a Mini Cooper.
• He (mistakenly) believes with all of his heart that I am the smartest, most beautiful, godliest woman in the world!

Dan instisted on responding to this, and apparently posting it as a comment was not good enough - "Not everyone will read the comments!" he said. So this is what he had to say:

"I object to this blog on so many different levels.

First, I thought I was being funny making a suggestion to blog about how sexy I am. When will I learn I'm really not that funny? Hopefully soon.

I don't think it is much of an accomplishment to not take my job too seriously, those who know me don't think I take anything seriously.

The reason I am usually first to apologize is because I am the one who is usually wrong.

As for responding to the rest of the comments my wife made, it goes to show how blind love can be. I am glad she thinks those things, but as those who know me Laura is making those things up. "

I got a good one huh?

Now for a post that's almost entirely plagiarized:

Today I discovered a letter on the Shaohannah's Hope website which so perfectly described the reasons we love adoption that I had to share it. I've modified it a little, but for all intents and purposes, it's not mine and I cannot take credit:

We recognize that adoption is a perfect picture of what God has done for each of us in making us His children through Christ. Psalm 68:5-6 tells us that as the Father to the fatherless, God delights in setting the lonely in families. Our experience is already proving that the scriptural mandate of caring for orphans, such as the one found in James 1:27, is really a wonderful invitation to experience God in a profound way by being a part of His sovereign plan for His precious children.
Working from these foundational truths, we believe that our adoption journey will enable a child living without the love and hope of an earthly family to be adopted into a "covenant home." There we will be able to provide not only the love and support needed for this life, but also provide our daughter with the knowledge of God's plan for her eternal life with a forever family called The Body of Christ.

So serious about our play: Alyssa always seems to be on the "phone" with someone... Parker here is caught in a rare still moment.

Why we chose Vietnam and Dillon International...

People are always asking us how we ended up adopting from Vietnam and why we chose Dillon International as our agency. The answers are linked, so I'll address the questions together.

Even before we had decided to pursue international adoption as a means for expanding our family, I had done quite a bit of research on-line. I had always loved the idea of providing a home for an orphan - especially one who would otherwise grow up in an orphanage - and Dan shared my enthusasim. In my research, I came across the Shaohannah's Hope foundation, started by Steven Curtis Chapman (a Christian recording artist) to help Christian families adopt. My respect for what they do was increased when Steven visited our Sunday School and shared his love for their adopted daughters. So, when it came time to settle on a country and an agency, I started with the Adoption Resources section of their website (www.shaohannahshope.org), made a list of the agencies they recommended, and compiled a list of the country programs sponsored by each agency.
We quickly found out that it's not as easy to select a country as one might think. There are a limited number of nations that allow international adoption and each one has its own requirements: Some countries want both parents to be over a certain age, others require that you live in their country for 30 days or more - or make multiple trips, some don't have children under 3 years old available for adoption -- to name a few. So after much thought, research and prayer, we determined that India was the best fit in terms of their rules and our preferences. Hand-in-hand with that decision was our belief that Dillon International (www.dillonadopt.com)had the best India program. They're in Tulsa, OK and we're in California, but since just about everything can be done via e-mail or phone these days, that didn't present a problem for us. Our only hope is that someday we might be able to meet their staff face to face to thank them for all they've done.
So for 9 months we operated on the premise that our little girl would be Indian. We completed our Home Study (where a social worker comes out to make sure that we're normal and stable enough to be good parents -- too bad we can't make such evaluations for some biological parents!) and finished our dossier (a mountain of paperwork which proves to the Indian government that we're honorable in our intentions and prepared to provide a good home), and for about 2 weeks were officially on the waiting list for a referral from India. THEN, we received a letter from Dillon informing us that the original wait time of 18-24 months was looking more like 25-37 months, but by the way, they had received their license to start faciliating adoptions from Vietnam. Vietnam had been closed to adoptions to the U.S. for several years, so we hadn't even considered it as an option when we began the process in August 2005. However, when we found out that our wait time could be a year shorter if we switched, we asked our agency for more information. After just a few days of praying and seeking counsel, we decided to start the process over again for Vietnam. Fortunately, Vietnam's dossier requirements are significantly less than India's, but everything was just different enough that it ALL had to be redone. We have had so many documents notarized and re-notarized over the past year that our 3 1/2 year-old has begun playing "notary." She makes us sign a special notebook and make a thumbprint! Needless to say, I'm glad that most of our paperwork days are now over.
So now we're waiting again. We're the third family on the list waiting for a girl under 24 months. We've been waiting almost a month - the family at the top of the list has been waiting 2 1/2 months. So it could be soon! Our agency said to plan on being on the list 1-3 months, but it is a new program and everything is subject to change. I'll keep you posted!

Easter clothes are so fun! I know these pictures are a little old now, but I wanted to share some of my favorites.

Our family at Thanksgiving last year... you might recognize it from our Christmas card. I guess we ought to get the four of us together for a picture more often!

We chose to adopt because....

The following are exerpts from a statement we wrote when applying to our adoption agency over a year ago. It addresses many of the questions people have about why we're adopting, so I thought I'd share it with you.

We want to adopt because we believe a foreign-born child would enrich our family, we believe it is our God-given responsibility to help the poor and fatherless, and we believe it would present the world around us with an object lesson of the gospel – of God’s adoption of us as His children. God has blessed us with two beautiful biological children, and we are so grateful for the opportunity to have experienced two wonderful pregnancies, births, and first few months with an infant. However, we feel like we could be equally blessed by welcoming a little person who is already in this world and needs a family. We actually undertook permanent means of birth control so that our home could be open to someone from the other side of the world. Our hope is that this somewhat unusual step will provide opportunities for us to share the gospel not only with our new baby (who might otherwise have never heard the Truth), but also with the world around us who will certainly ask about our motivation for building our family in this way.

We are also excited about the possibility of our family becoming multicultural! We hope that it will be a constant reminder to us, and those around us, that the world is bigger than our hometown. It is especially important to us that our current children gain a vision for what God is doing around the world.

The presence of an adoptive child will certainly change our family dynamic – but then so would the addition of a third biological child. We hope that this little one will enlarge our world-view, as well as simply bring the joy to our home that any child can. Our extended family accepted the news that we were considering adoption just as excitedly as they did we we’ve announced a pregnancy. We believe that they too will love this new baby as if it were their flesh and blood.

Because our community is very multi-cultural, we believe that our family won’t face quite the challenges that an adoptive family might face in a more homogeneous environment. There are many families in our area who have adopted a foreign child, and those we’ve spoken with have not reported any negative feedback from the community.

We will attempt to handle any racially prejudiced remarks with grace and humility, turning the other cheek. Though we recognize that challenges will come, we hope that they will just give us greater opportunity to show the world that we are different, and explain to them that we can love a child of any color because Christ first loved us.

Our child will likely have questions about why she is different and why she was abandoned by her birth parents, as any adoptive child might. However, we believe that all of those difficulties can be overcome by teaching her to see herself from God’s perspective and by loving her with an unconditional love. We would be willing to help her contact her biological parents if she so desired and if it were possible, but would assure her that she is ours because we choose her and because God choose her for us.

Our little water-skiers! Alyssa just loves holding the flag, and Parker likes his "handle" (the cleat!). They are such troopers and actually getting quite brave behind the boat.

Well, after months of pouring over the blogs of friends and fellow adoptive-moms, I've finally decided to join their ranks. I hope here to give you all a little insight into our home, my faith, my family, and the adventure called adoption. Of course, it also gives me the opportunity to share pics of my precious kiddos. We have a sweet, beautiful 3 1/2 year-old daughter, Alyssa, and an adorable, hilarious 2 year-old son, Parker. Our second daughter, Savannah, is somewhere in Vietnam. We're anxiously awaiting news regarding who she is and when we'll get to meet her. So, stay posted! For now, you'll get to hear my ramblings as I learn to be patient - or whatever else God might have in store for us. Thanks for reading!