18 months

My baby girl is now a year and a half! It’s hard to believe that one year ago today we received the long-awaited call alerting us that it was finally time to meet Reagan in person. At the time she was still such a baby, and although she still fits into many of her 3-6 month old outfits, Reagan is quickly becoming a little girl. She can run, dance and hold her own in family wrestling/tickling matches. She is developing and learning to assert her will (and, fortunately, also learning the meaning of the word “no”). She’s talking more and more every day and tries to mimic every sound we make. I won’t bore you with the list of words that she can “say”, but it is this point that amazes me more than any other. The girl missed out on 6 ½ months of English-language development and yet she is still right on track – even ahead of her peers!

I continue to marvel at God’s protection of and provision for our little girl during the time we were half a world apart. Reagan has not been the least bit behind on any developmental milestone, and I think a great deal of the credit for that goes to the women God set to physically love and care for her before we were able. The other day I caught a glimpse of Reagan’s primary nanny in the background of a photo on another adoptive-mom’s blog and it brought a tear to my eye. On the surface the nanny seemed to be a rather unhappy, even somewhat cold, woman, but she lit up when she was interacting with Reagan – laughing, kissing her, making her giggle. By the third day of our visits to the orphanage, we finally realized that she was desperately trying to hold her emotions in check. She seemed to be dreading the moment she would have to say good-bye to the baby she had cared for since day 2, and the closer that moment got, the more she shut down. She waited until the last possible second to hand Reagan to me, and even then she was reluctant to let her go. Needless to say, that made for a very emotional morning, but I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to see God’s answer to my prayers. I continue to pray for those ladies, Luc in particular, and hope that someday Reagan will also get the opportunity to thank the women that helped shape the beautiful runner-dancer-talker we are enjoying a year later.

If they'd only known

Part of the fun of packing is reliving all the memories associated with those items that have been tucked away in closets for the past months or years. Of course, it also increases the time associated with the process, but who can resist flipping through a photo album from old camp counselor days? The other day Alyssa sat down with me and one of her favorite memory books: my "School Days" album. You know, the type where you write down favorites from each year of school, paste copies of those dreaded institutional portraits, and stash dozens of report cards. As I looked through my pre-school progress report, we all got a good laugh over one very prophetic comment. In the margin next to my score from some group activity a teacher had written: "Laura cannot be persuaded into doing anything she does not want to do." If only my parents had known just how insightful that instructor was! My mom thinks it might have been more appropriate to have written "she cannot be pursuaded to do anything she does not see the point in doing" but either way - she was spot on! I appreciate my mom's attempts to soften the truth in my favor, but I'm afraid that I'm still very much the kind of girl that cannot be persuaded into much!

My bé

As we approach one year home with Reagan, I marvel at how she is simultaneously both so very American and so very Vietnamese. She obviously looks Asian, but I’m always tickled by the other ways her ethnicity manifests itself. Her little voice forms a hard “A” sound easier than the Caucasian babies I’ve known, she’s still so tiny that people are constantly amazed to see that she walks, her hands – and especially her fingernails – are incredibly delicate, her nose is a little more challenging to squeeze (though according to my Vietnamese nail lady, she has a good, “tall” nose!), her hair is so dark, shiny, and straight… but my very favorite is the way she squats. She moves so effortlessly in and out of this position! There is nothing comfortable about squatting to me, but she can play like this indefinitely. Her hips just must rotate out differently than mine. It’s clearly not something she was taught, because she wasn’t even sitting when we brought her home, but something in her nature that she shares with those of her beautiful first home country. To me it is just the cutest thing, and it brings a smile to my face every time I see my sweet baby squatting like the beautiful Vietnamese girl that she is!

Even better than we’d hoped

As He seems to have a habit of doing, God has surprised us with a new home that is even more perfect than the one we had been dreaming about!
This last weekend Dan and I were looking at an aerial map of the neighborhood in which we’ve been searching for homes. For the first time we noticed a group of houses that had unusually large yards and remarked to each other about how incredible they were. We also determined they must be incredibly expensive and didn’t really give it another thought. Then on Monday morning I received my daily e-mail of all new listings in our city. As only God would have it, the home at the top of the list sat on one of those very lots! There were no pictures of the interior, but since it was well within our price range and square-footage requirements, we quickly went out to take a look. I fully expected it to be torn apart inside and in need of serious fixing-up money, but it was beautiful! It was the same floor plan as another house we put an offer on when we sold ours a few weeks ago, but it has every upgrade in the book, including a huge bonus room over the garage. I called Dan and told him we could put an offer on it without him even seeing it – it was that fabulous! Oh, and the yard was even better on the ground than in it looked from the air. It had a pool & spa, and then another 75 feet of flat grass before sloping steeply down to another residental street. I know that a quarter-acre is nothing in most parts of the country, but I’m telling you: to this Southern Californian it looked HUGE! Anyway, we brought Dan back to look at it Monday night, he of course loved it too, and we wrote an offer. But wait, you say, I didn’t think you had sold your home yet. Well, that was true up until about an hour after we determined to buy this one! God graciously provided a buyer for us at just the right time, and at a price we can live with. Is that amazing or what?! I’m still pinching myself that, Lord willing, we are actually going to live in that home! It is just so much better than I ever could have hoped. It’s closer to my in-laws, just a few minutes further to my family, in a great school district, on a cul-de-sac, with a view, and did I mention the pool? Parker was concerned that the current owners might be taking the (in ground) pool with them – I think he’s been a little confused and disappointed by the homes we’ve seen with backyard playsets that are not included. Needless to say, I think we’re going to have at least a couple of shrived-up kids by the end of summer! Can you tell we’re all excited?
It’s always so amazing to me how God answers our prayers in ways that we couldn’t have even imagined. We started this process with our eyes set on the house up the street, which now pales in comparison to this one. When it sold we were disappointed, but trusted that if God had something better, He would make it clear. That continued to be my prayer when our house fell out of escrow a few weeks ago. If that buyer had not decided to move to New Mexico, we would have probably settled on another far-less-incredible home – for more money! An odd coincidence is that the family we’re buying from is also moving to New Mexico. Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor? Now He seems to be allowing us to have a home we can stretch out in and enjoy for the rest of our lives. I couldn’t bring myself to even ask for such a home because even our current, lovely house is so much more than we deserve. But He continually proves Himself to be gracious beyond all measure!

So much for "normal"!

Back to "normal"

School’s in session, tax season is past, the course I teach is nearly over, and life is starting to feel a little more normal. I’m even caught up on sleep thanks to a self-imposed weekend bedtime of 9pm. So here I am, back in the blogging world. I’m more than a little surprised that any of you are still here, but my Sitemeter tells me that at least a few of you have stuck it out through my unofficial hiatus. Thanks!

Having Alyssa home for two weeks was such a treat! Even though we stuck pretty close to home we enjoyed a day at Disneyland (no pics, sorry), a lot of long bike rides (the big kids are up to 2 ½ miles – Daddy runs alongside while Reagan and I follow with the jogging stroller), swimming at the neighbor’s pool, a couple of sleepovers at grandparents’ houses, and just hanging out. Once Parker adjusted to sharing me with a vocal sibling he loved having Alyssa here! Today he started cheering when he realized it was time to go pick her up, and went on and on about how much he loves spring break. Alyssa was excited to go back to school, but he and I are counting down the weeks until summer!

One of our favorite activites: snuggling in bed!

My hero

I'm not sure how I would survive a cold in the midst of tax season without it. Thanks Lord for giving the world Afrin!

Why would we even want to sell?

Given the current dramatic decline in the real estate market, this is a fair question, and we’ve been asked it more than once. I’m sure our neighbors are convinced that we must be on the verge of foreclosure! Sometimes it seems like we’re about the only seller not in that unfortunate position. But it basically comes down to the fact that even though we’re selling low, we also may have the opportunity to buy low. Property taxes in California are based on the sales price of the home - whether it was 2 years ago or 20. If you bought the median home in Los Angeles county in 1985 for $125,000 your property taxes are still holding steady at $1500 per year. However, if you bought the median home in 2005 at $500,000, your taxes will forever be a minimum $6250 annually. All of that to say, if we trade houses now, even if our mortgage goes up, we could end up saving money living in a significantly larger home. So as much as we love our home, it would be kind of a bummer to miss out on that opportunity. We can’t wait to see what God has planned!

...or not

Apparently our buyer has decided to move to New Mexico instead of here. Dramatic change of plans huh? So back we are to square one. I'm a little bummed, but it helps to know that God's plans are undoubtedly better than mine.

SOLD!

We sold our house yesterday! Now the (hopefully not too) tricky part is finding a house we like more than this one at a reasonable price. We have our eye on two in particular, but we'll have to see how much the sellers are willing to discount them for us. I'll keep you posted! In the meantime, I'll be busy rearranging furniture, packing, organizing a garage sale, and picking out paint colors... in my head, which makes for some sleepless nights.

Our cyclists... and a fan

It's been a big week at our house: Parker learned how to ride a bike - without training wheels! Alyssa hit this milestone last summer, but when we pulled out the big bike she received for Christmas we left the extra wheels on so she could get used to the height. Last Friday we decided to take them off, and by Tuesday Parker was insisting that his training wheels be removed as well. Though he hasn't yet mastered the starting and stopping part (hence the fat lip!), he's doing remarkably well for a 3 1/2 year-old on his second day... at least in this mom's not-so-humble opinion! For now, our sweet little Reagan is happy to sit in the back of brother's pick-up and cheer them on, but I have a feeling it won't be long before she wants to get in on the action too!

The boy loves his mama!

Once a week after dropping Alyssa off at school, my parents take Parker for a "doughnut date." Needless to say, he always has a great time, but it's clear he still thinks of his mama: he always comes home with half of a sprinkle doughnut for me - the bottom half!

Are you kidding me?

When we re-finalized Reagan's adoption last month, I really thought we were done with adoption paperwork. I was wrong. It seems as if the process is never-ending! I found out yesterday that it will take another 10 months to get a California-issued birth certificate! We also still need to change Reagan's name on her social security number, which has to wait until we receive our tax returns are processed. Then we have to apply for another certificate of citizenship in her american name, to the tune of another $420! Fortunately I have this precious little face to motivate me...

but does it really have to be so hard? It's no wonder so many are intimidated by adoption!

Spring!

I love spring! I really don't mind winter, especially because ours are so mild, but there's just something about the new life this time of year brings. I love the green hills, new flowers, and most of all, daylight savings time! The kids sleep a little later in the mornings, we take long walks together in the evenings, and there seems to be so much more time to do things outside - like plant sunflowers:

I warned you!

I'm still here... just drowning a little in tax returns, (still) sick kids, houseguests, writing a mid-term exam, and trying to keep a show-ready house! We're taking a break today to visit old Walt D., so if you're lucky I may have a few cute photos to share tomorrow. I know... you're on the edge of your seats!

Since I have nothing of real interest to share, I'll refer you to a few of my friends (or "friends")who do:

Nate is blogging his insights into the Shepherd's Conference our church is currently hosting.

Amy challenged me to be more purposeful in the raising of my children.

Kelly is sharing the story of her daughter's domestic adoption - you know I'm always a sucker for a good adoption story! (start here)

Laurie is just about to pop with baby number three and plans to blog while in labor! This is the same Laurie who recently returned from adopting 8 month-old Shawn from Vietnam, joining 20 month-old Jackson, also from Vietnam. And I thought our kids were close together!

Heidi could use your prayers for a little good news in the adoption department. They've been on the verge of travelling to pick up little Claire for way too long now, and are still being held up by our government.

Lisa wrote about the potential for humiliation when you take on a teaching role - something I encounter every time I face my undergrads! But she reminded me of the silver lining - humility- which is something I definitely need more of.

So that should keep you busy for a little while. I'd link a little more, but my smallest sicky is finally stirring. Duty (and joy!) calls.

Dinner and a show at Uncle Pete's Firehouse

Presidental mob-scene

Monday... President's Day... what better way to celebrate than a trip to the library of one of our greatest? Air Force One, presidential limo, beautiful gardens, views, and special activities for the kids... sounds like fun, right? Well, it would have been if the place hadn't been mobbed! It seemed to me like an obscure place to go, but apparently thousands of other families had the same great idea. It was so busy that the only available parking was over a mile away at the bottom of the steep mountain drive. Needless to say, we decided not to take that hike and ended up at the local ice cream shop instead! So, we still got a cute picture, but not quite the cultural experience I had envisioned. (I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately!)

Tax time!

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned before that I’m a (mostly-retired) Certified Public Accountant (exciting profession, I know!). This time of year, of course, is traditionally a pretty crazy one for us CPAs. In the past I’m managed to avoid much of the tax crunch because I’ve never worked in a tax department. However, this year I’ve volunteered to spend a dozen hours or so each week working from home for an organization that prepares returns for pastors and missionaries. I’m not a tax expert, but my knowledge has grown exponentially over the past few weeks, and I’m actually starting to feel like I know what I’m doing! Unfortunately, the time I’m spending with 1040s and W-2s is time that I had previously spent with you, my bloggy friends. I still plan on keeping you all up-to-date as much as possible, but please forgive a couple of months of what will likely be photo-heavy and deep-thought-light blogging!

Well intentioned

I had resolved not to post any more photos from Disneyland for a while. Dan and I had also resolved to take the children to the local Tet festival to celebrate the Lunar New Year, in honor of Reagan's heritage. However, a most-appropriate backdrop for Minnie and my sweet little asian baby, coupled with a house-bound trio of sick children on the day of the festival, have defeated all of my good intentions. So, here you are stuck again viewing Disney pictures with no hint of the authentic celebration I was planning on telling you all about! Maybe next year...

Done!

A short interview with a very sweet, tootsie-pop-bearing judge and several hundred pictures later, the re-finalization of Reagan's was finally completed this afternoon! Though the legal implications were far less than that of the Giving and Receiving ceremony in Vietnam, it was surprizingly emotional. The judge, clerk and attorney general (who played photographer for us) seemed genuinely excited for us and pleased to help make it a very special moment. But the quote of the day came from Parker who understood that the ceremony would legally change Reagan's name. As we were walking out of the courtroom he asked me, "what is her name now mama?" I told him, and he said "oh, that's a nice name!" Though we've been calling her that for over a year now, it's a relief to know that we have the approval of the state of California and the three-year-old!

Official... again!

After Eight months, several errors by our adoption agency, multiple trips to the courthouse, and too many fees to count, Reagan will finally be adopted (again) tomorrow! Since Dan and I both traveled to Vietnam, Reagan has legally been ours since the Giving and Receiving ceremony there in May, but here we are replaying the game through the California system. The real carrot at the end is a U.S.-issued birth certificate. There are added benefits related to inheritance issues, and we will legally change her name to ours as part of the process, but mostly we didn’t want to have to depend on our ONE official copy of her Vietnamese birth certificate for the rest of her life – that’s just way too much pressure! I anticipate that the court hearing will be much like the one in Reagan’s hometown - a few signatures and photos, maybe a couple of little speeches exchanged - and though this one doesn’t change Reagan’s legal status as our daughter, she feels so much more like our daughter this time around. For that reason tomorrow will be a special day.
The day of Reagan’s first adoption was a little overwhelming – for her and for us. She had just left everything and everyone she had ever known, including the caregiver who clearly loved her and the four walls that had been her whole life, for the arms of some very odd looking, odd smelling foreigners. She was content – even happy (she repeatedly laughed and smiled at me that day!) – but her sweet little personality was still hidden. We had loved her in concept for almost two years, cherished her photos for 5 months, and visited her in her orphanage for three days, but she was still very much a stranger to us.
However, today I love Reagan in the deepest, mommy-est sense of the word. I know her as only a mama could. I understand her cries, her babbles, her patterns, and her preferences. I cherish her giggle, her swagger, her soft jet-black hair. I love the way she laughs at her brother, cuddles with her sister, can’t stop kissing her cousin, and embraces her role as daddy’s little daredevil. She just fits into our family. For all that went into finding her, bringing her home and now making her a Californian, it’s so clear that God made and choose her just especially for us. Reagan Thao-Van was “ours” legally on May 15th, 2007, but now she’s “ours” because she’s one of us.