I regret to inform all the other prospective adoptive parents out there that the cutest child in Vietnam is already spoken for. I thought she was precious from the first picture we saw, but Reagan seems to get more and more beautiful every day! On top of that, she is a very happy and easy baby thus far. Everywhere we go, men and women stop us to touch and ask about Reagan "Vietnam baby?" and "How old?" "Oh, lucky baby!" they all say, but without a doubt we are the lucky ones.

Today we had our interview with the U.S. consulate here in HCMC - the first step towards getting Reagan's visa to come home. Everything went reasonably smoothly, but the best news is that the embassy in Hanoi now does exit interviews 5 days a week instead of just Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which means... we might get to come home early! We're planning on flying to Hanoi on Wednesday, and if we can get an appointment for Thursday, we'll be home Friday night! We have loved our time here in Vietnam but we do miss home and I really miss Alyssa and Parker, so pray that all will continue to go well!

Do Alyssa and Parker miss us, you ask? Well, just read through this diary of events sent to us by my mother-in-law (Tilly to the kids) and draw your own conclusions:

I have a minute... the children haven't woken up yet. They have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO adorable.
Thought you might like to see what we have been doing over this past week.
Night One:
Painted their 1st picture with our new easel.
Had our 1st Golden Spoon of their stay (a favorite frozen yogurt shop)

Day One:
Woke up, had breakfast (colored cereal)
Painted their 2nd picture
Went to visit a friend
Went to the pool and had a picnic at the pool.
Came home, read a story and went right down for naps.
Up, baths and ready for Aunt Jacque's 60th Birthday Bash.

Day Two:
Cousins Ellie, Lily and Auntie Michelle came for breakfast
Went garage sale buying...and buy we did
Alyssa’s favorite was a fanny belt hat she has worn EVERYWHERE. It is quite the fashion statement… I'm sure that it will catch on anytime now.
Then it was onto a little lunch at McDonald's and of course a toy...the first I'm sure of the entire collection of Shrek characters. At this writing they have TWO, Donkey and Shrek, who makes very "inappropriate" noises....
No painting today!!!! Just naps, dinner, baths and bed
Best part of Day Two? unanimously...the Garage BUYING.

Day Three:
Up VERY early for church (at least for Tilly) and we actually made it to church by 8:25am. Parker was #10 on the roster - not as good as you guys, but I was impressed.
After Church we went over to see Uncle Peter at his fire station. Parker took his first (of many) falls from on top of the rock he had climbed.
Naps...and dinner with Grammie Great and cousins at the Greek restaurant for Mom's day.
Dessert was at Auntie Shell's house, then cousin Ellie came home with us (so that Alyssa didn't have to sleep in her bed all by herself!!!)

Day Four: Monday.
Pancakes were ordered and delivered (Sleeping Beauty and Ariel).
Painting, of course.
Then to the Pool and a picnic.
The usual afternoon, then dinner and a treat (Golden Spoon again!!!)
Papa didn't come with us and Parker said, "why doesn't Papa EVER come with us...that's SO sad."

Day Five:
Just colored cereal for breakfast...and then off to meet friends and cousins at Kidspace in Pasadena.
For dinner we walked (Parker RAN...of course) to a favorite restaurant then a stop at the Park on the way home.
Best Part of the Day: the spooky, Dahk tunnel at Kidspace.
Parker has decided that Kidspace would be a GWEAT date...so when you're ready to let them loose (which probably won't be TOO soon) Parker and I know where we want to go on ouw date!!! then he always finishes a great idea with...."how bout dat?"

Day Six: Wednesday
Woke up...breakfast, then off to DISNEYLAND with more friends and cousins.
Best Ride: Buzz Lightyear
Home by 10:15....not TOO bad!!!

Day Seven: Thursday..
Will be a SLOW day....maybe a little digging out....probably Costco for dinner.....they're busy watching morning "children shows".!!!!

As you can see we are NOT having any fun. They have been SO good....and I Do make them behave and eat....really I do. We have had absolutely NO problems at bedtime, naptime or meals.

They have a date to sleepover with Auntie Sasa on Sunday night so they are excited about that. I'm not sure Dad and I will know what to do with a quiet house, but they'll be back on Monday, full of energy. And that's a good thing as I still have MANY things to do....such as:

Go watch Uncle Peter surf.
Go fishing
Go to the Grove and ride the Trolley and the dolly “hospital.”
Hit some more Garage Sales
More painting, more Golden Spoon and adding to our Shrek collection!!!

I am LOVING every minute of our Special time together. They are absolutely the BEST!!!!
Love you guys...and can't wait to meet little Reagan,

Tilly

Don't I have fabulous in-laws?! Alyssa and Parker are never going to want us to come home - they'll be so bored with our normal, quiet life. At least they'll have a new live "dolly" to play with!

Another day in HCMC… we feel like we’re starting to get a good feel for the place. We’ve found the Pizza Hut, braved the large smelly market, and are even starting to gain a little confidence in crossing the street. Now that may not sound like a big deal to those of you who have never left the (relatively) controlled intersections and crosswalks of the United States, but even Manhattan is no match for the crazy traffic here in Saigon. I’d say at least 90% of the vehicles here are motorbikes, and maybe only a dozen streetlights exist in the whole city. Watching the flow of bikes, scooters, buses, bicycles and the occasional mobile fruit stand is almost like observing a mechanized dance of some sort. It’s probably not the most efficient or safe system, but it seems to work and we’ve seen very few accidents. We experienced our first rub with a bus today while taking a taxi to the laundromat ($8 for an entire suitcase full of clothes to be washed and ironed!), but even that was an intentional clash of wills and fenders. Crossing the street then usually means taking your life into your hands. You just have to wait for a little break in the flow, step out, and just keep walking. It’s so crazy and so intimidating at first that the government actually employs “tourist security” whose sole responsibility is to help us foreigners make our way across. I love those men in the green uniforms!
All of our walking around today wore poor little Reagan out, so we came back to the room early tonight and have been lucky enough to enjoy the sounds of the wedding reception taking place two floors up. Just imagine the tin-can, synthesized version of such songs as “Valentine” and “Sunrise, Sunset”, followed by Vietnamese techno and you’ll get the idea. Dan took an elevator ride upstairs to check it out and was surprised to find that the door opened directly into the heart of the party. One of the guests invited him to stay, and even introduced him to her friend who lives in “Cali” (since the state is so small and they just might run into each other one of these days), but he declined and we’re now getting ready to climb into bed to rest up for our tour to the Me Kong Delta tomorrow. We have the weekend free so we’re going to try to see as much of this beautiful country as we can!

Well we’re back in Ho Chi Min City (formerly called Saigon), enjoying the change of pace (and food!) from the countryside, but missing the beach. I’d tell you all about what we’ve seen so far here, but the memory stick from my camera is at the Kodak shop next door being copied onto disks (because I’m just that paranoid about my photos), and I haven’t yet downloaded the most recent pictures onto my computer. So, I’ll write more when I have the accompanying pictures because words just can’t do it justice. Here are a few shots of the scenery and baby girl we enjoyed while in Ninh Thuan. The boys in the last shot were a kick! We met them while taking a little walk on the beach, and to our surprise they spoke English better than just about anyone we’ve run into thus far. Talk about a small world!

Officially, legally, finally…ours!
As I type, there is the sweetest little Vietnamese baby peacefully sleeping in the bed next to me. And she’s not going away! She’s ours forever! We just got back from the Giving and Receiving ceremony where the Vietnamese government “gave” and we “received” this precious gift. Dan is still running around with the other dads filing the paperwork to get her passport so Reagan and I are here together in our hotel room (with a view that I still cannot get over – it is gorgeous!). The ceremony itself was more of a photo op than anything very official feeling. We all sat down in a small conference room around an oval table, on chairs very much intended for asian-sized bottoms, with the director of the orphanage and the head of the provincial government here (I think!). The only thing that hinted at the gravity of the occasion was the bust of Uncle Ho and bright red and gold banners behind us. There was a short introduction, the government guy asked us to take good care of the babies and bring them back here some day, and each of the families were asked to give a short speech. We had signed the paperwork before any of the authorities were even in the room, so the official “this is the G&R” part was simply them handing us the papers and posing for a picture. We were probably only all seated there together for 20 minutes or so. But it did the trick and she’s now here with us!
The hard part really was at the orphanage. We picked the children up there before going to the government building and I wasn’t prepared for how emotional that would be. First we attended a meeting with the director and vice director of the orphanage – more of the same “please take good care of them and teach them about their culture” stuff. They also asked that we teach them the Vietnamese language, but given the fact that we’re having a rough time just learning how to pronounce our daughter’s name correctly, that’s a request that will probably be left unfulfilled.
After the meeting we went downstairs to where the nannies were saying good-bye. It was obvious that the girl primarily responsible for taking care of Reagan was having a really hard time. Over the past 3 days when we’ve been at the center she’s rarely made eye contact with us, and has been reluctant to let us hold her. At first I thought she was just a cold personality, but as I watched her interact with Thao Van (Reagan) it became quite clear to me that she was just sad. She loves this little girl, and has spent the better part of most days enjoying and caring for her. While I’m sure she knows that an orphanage is not the best place for any child to grow up, I can certainly understand her pain. She avoided handing Reagan to us until the very last moment, and after she did, she quickly slipped away behind a cabinet to hide her emotion. Before leaving we had the Dillon staff translate for us telling her just how much we appreciated all that she has done for our daughter, and at that she held my arm for just a moment before slipping away again. Dan and I were both in tears too as we then walked out of the orphanage with Reagan and literally just the clothes on her back. Speaking of which, each of the baby girls who were adopted today were dressed in the very best that the orphanage had. We were glad to have brought quite a bit of clothing and toys to leave there so we didn’t feel as bad taking their nicest things. Reagan’s little outfit was sweet and clean, and something I will treasure forever.
Since we’ve been back at the hotel Reagan has just been an angel. So far she seems to be a very easy-going, laid back child and has only wimpered when we gave her a bath, and just before falling asleep. The other girls have had a little harder time, so we are counting ourselves very blessed. Of course, that all could change – we’ve only known her a few short hours, but so far we’re having a ball. I think that her obvious attachment to her nanny, Luc, is a blessing and will help her bond to us more readily. We’ve been enjoying a quiet afternoon at the hotel watching the fishermen in these great little round boats out on the South China Sea. Tomorrow we sit on a bus for 6 ½ hours or more with three babies who before today had never been outside of the four walls of their nursery. That will be the real test!

You may all soon tire of reading every detail of our trip, but I’m so anxious to record it all before these precious memories slip away, and this blog has become my diary of sorts. So, be warned, or feel free to navigate away.
That said, today thus far has been another incredible day. We had the great privilege of just driving around in a tour van all morning, seeing the place that in many ways has already shaped our precious little girl. Our tour guide (not really a guide, but the best English speaker at our hotel and a very sweet and knowledgeable girl) was so accommodating and happily stopped the van for every silly picture we wanted to take. Both she and our driver were quite amused at our fascination with the rice fields, water buffalo and local insects!
Our first stop was the local tourist attraction, the Cham towers. They are beautiful Hindu buildings constructed by the native people in honor of a 12th century king, entirely out of the local red clay. Set up on a hill, they provided a panoramic view of the entire region and a welcome break from the humidity. From there we drove to many of the local villages, piecing together every little bit of info we have on our daughter. A highlight was a stop at a pottery shop where an old woman dressed in traditional clothing formed a large vase before us. While the pottery-making was interesting (and the woman herself, who had a great amount of character), I most enjoyed watching the children who were watching us. As remote as this area is, I doubt that these people often encounter foreigners – let alone large white ones like us! We clearly stood out, and the kids were fascinated… or maybe they were just interested in the candy we shared with them. It was both amusing and sad to see how they clamored over one another to get to us and the lollipops.
We were only gone about 3 hours, but I feel like we did the best we could for Reagan. We’re trying so hard to experience and capture her homeland, and especially her hometown, but words and photos just aren’t enough. They will serve to help refresh our memories as we someday recount to her all that we’ve seen, but we will undoubtedly have to bring her back here someday to experience it for herself. It’s strange for me to think about how decidedly Vietnamese she is today, and yet how thoroughly American she will be before she’s even old enough to know or care. When we first started the adoption process I honestly thought that our daughter’s birth-culture would not really mean that much to us, but I’m beginning to see just how precious this part of her is to me even now, and to her someday as well.

Meeting our girl...

We’ve met the girl!!!

I’m sitting here in a gorgeous hotel room with panoramic views of the South China Sea, sorting through hundreds of photos (and who knows how much video!) of the most incredible of afternoons. After a long but beautiful ride through 200+ miles (ie. 6 ½ slow hours) of Vietnamese countryside, we finally arrived in the Ninh Thuan province, the birthplace and home of our daughter! We settled into our hotel, ate a quick lunch, and then set off for the “center.” I had butterflies, tears in my eyes, and was just overwhelmed with the idea that we were finally about to meet Reagan! I recognized the gate from pictures, but was a little disoriented at first because the orphanage is going through some renovations. The blue building where I was sure we’d ascend the stairs to see Reagan for the first time is now pink! And it’s empty! The children have all been temporarily moved to an adjacent building, which we followed our agency’s staff to the front of. Then, without any ceremony or warning, the caregivers started bringing out the babies. Reagan was the first one out – I didn’t recognize her name when they said it, but I knew her face immediately. She was happy, calm and came to me right away! I had wondered many times if I would even know which child was mine, but those fears were quickly displaced with joy and awe. She’s adorable, sweet, very easy going. Dan, my mom and dad all took turns holding her, while my uncles captured everything on video and stills for us. She was happy to be passed around and cuddled with us for most of the hour and a half we were there. I got to feed her a bottle, and the caregivers were content to let me comfort her when she did get a little sad at one point. They made her laugh so we could see her smile, and just kind of let us be a family. After a little time had passed, we realized that while we’re going to have a lifetime to enjoy Reagan, we would only have a few short hours to experience the place and people she’s spent the last six months with. So, we started snapping pictures and interacting with the other children too. They all loved getting their picture taken, crowding so close that it was a little difficult to get a decent shot. The highlight though was watching them view themselves on our camera. I think that was a bigger hit than the candy and snacks we passed out! We also got lots of shots of the babies – especially those with families waiting for them in the states. (Be patient Dillon families, I’m going to try to send them off to Jynger soon, but the connection is pretty slow here– we really are in the middle of nowhere!).

Tomorrow we’ll do a little sightseeing in the morning and visit the orphanage again in the afternoon. Then, on Tuesday Reagan will be ours for good! I thought it might be harder to leave her there today, but we were exhausted – physically and emotionally – and I’m actually grateful that we’re able to ease into this life change gradually. It feels a bit like the first day or two in the hospital after giving birth: you’re thrilled to have finally been able to see and hold the child you’ve loved for so long, but so tired that letting someone else care for them while you recover doesn’t seem so bad.

We’re here!!! It still seems very surreal, but we’re actually, finally in Vietnam, and tomorrow we will meet Reagan! Our flight was as smooth as could be expected. We were able to sleep quite a bit and so far haven’t been too affected by jet lag. The other families from our agency had two flights before the long haul, so we felt very fortunate having only about 24 hours of total travel time.
We arrived just in time for lunch, which we enjoyed at the Highland Coffee shop, chosen primarily because of its american-ish food (way too hungry to be adventurous!) and its proximity to our hotel (ie – didn’t involve braving any crosswalks). We explored the mall, which includes a great grocery store (plenty of familiar snacks for those of you traveling soon!) and (the strangest part I thought) – an entire aisle, both sides, devoted entirely to Top Ramen. Then my mom and I treated ourselves to the best manicure/pedicure/massage I’ve ever had. 5 women worked on us non-stop for over an hour and half for less than the price I’d pay for a quick pedi alone at home. We really do feel rich here! Dinner was at the Rex, adjacent to the famous rooftop garden. We took a quick peak of the sites from there, but will save the rest of our Saigon adventures for next week.
I’m now doing my best to stay awake long enough to be able to call home. It’s not yet 7am there, but I’m fading quickly and Dan is already out cold. Thanks to all of you who have been praying for me about leaving Alyssa and Parker! My last post expressed the worst of it, and I’ve been doing surprisingly well since then. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since “the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16), but I really did expect to be a bit of a basket case. It helped that the kids were not the least bit sad to see us go. In fact, they were literally pushing us out the door in excitement over all that their grandparents, aunts and uncles have planned for them. I have no doubt that they’ll have a fabulous time without us, and by this time tomorrow I’ll be occupied with memories of meeting our third precious baby. Tomorrow I’ll try to post again from our beautiful hotel on the South China Sea, only miles away from Reagan!

It’s funny, after all this waiting I’m not all that anxious to leave for Vietnam. In some respects I’m very excited. I know that our union with Reagan will be like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve dreamed about it for so long that it’s hard to fathom that just a week from today she will be ours forever. I have no doubt that we will look back on this time with wonder and joy.
However, I am going to pieces trying to prepare myself for the fact that I won’t get hold Alyssa and Parker for three whole weeks. I’ve been packed for a while, so I’ve really been able to spend the last week focused on enjoying them. Which is a good thing… mostly. The hard part about that is, I’ve had lots of time to contemplate just how much I’m going to miss them. They are such a joy to be around. We laugh together, play, learn (Alyssa learned how to ride a bike this week – no training wheels! - more about that later), shop, eat, cuddle, just hang out. The longest I’ve ever been away from them is four days. Since I don’t work outside the home and neither of them are in school, we’re together a lot. And I love it! Of course at times parenting is hard. They’re not perfect, but I (unbiased as I am) think that they are very well behaved, kind, thoughtful kids.

I’m not normally an especially emotional person, but I’ve barely been able to hold it together any time I’ve kissed or held or even smelled them lately. Dan had a good insight on this: He said that our time away will just make us appreciate them more. I can already see that he is right. I have treasured every little moment this week. I’ve taken more pictures, more video, spent more time putting them to bed, turned the music off in the car just to talk. Things I should do all the time, but neglect when I start to take them for granted.
I’ve not doubted that leaving them here is the right choice for our family. In my head, I’m confident that they will be better off here, Reagan will be better served with them here, and even I will enjoy Vietnam more with them here. But my heart hasn’t gotten the message. I’m hoping and praying that in a few days I’ll be so wrapped up in my new daughter that the pain of missing Alyssa and Parker will lessen. I know that God is in control. I am confident that this is His plan for us. I have no doubt He will sustain me and cause me to trust in Him even more through the final steps of this trust-inducing process. I also believe that He loves and cares for my children even more than I do. He’ll take care of us and them, but I know that more than a few tears will be shed. This just isn’t what I’ve always imagined this time would feel like.

As we finally get ready to go meet our precious daughter, it’s probably time to prepare you, our friends and family, for what it might be like when we return home.

It’s obvious that Reagan’s first 6 months of life have been very different from that of Alyssa and Parker. While we believe that her caretakers truly do the best they can for her, they have not had the opportunity to provide the same attention, love and consistency that a parent can. She has already suffered the loss of her birthparents, and will soon be ripped away from everything and everyone she has ever known. She will likely be confused, scared, and insecure. It will take time for her to learn that we love her and will always be there for her. Never in her short life have all of her needs been met by one individual. We will need to teach her what it’s like to have a mommy, a daddy and a family.

In light of that, we will treat her differently than we did our biological children. We happily passed Alyssa and Parker around to anyone who wanted a turn, starting with their first days in hospital rooms filled with dozens of loving on-lookers. Unfortunately, we can’t give you all that chance right away with Reagan. We want to share her! We’re anxious for you all to get to know and love her! But we also believe that it’s in her best interest to hold her a little tighter than we did with our other two, literally and figuratively. We will hold her a lot. We will probably spoil her a bit. We will probably seem overprotective. We will be her sole and devoted caretakers. Dan and I will be the only ones to change her diaper, feed her, bathe her, dress her, and comfort her for a while. Outside of our home, we will be the only ones to hold her. We won’t leave her in the nursery, and it will even be some time before we leave her with grandma and grandpa.

That doesn’t mean we don’t want you to love and enjoy her. That doesn’t mean that you can’t touch her, hug her, kiss her, or interact with her, but it does mean that you’re going to have to trust us. Please don’t be offended or disappointed when we don’t place her in your arms. We’ve spent a lot of time researching how best to help her through this incredibly tumultuous time in her little life, and believe that this is the best way…for now. In time, we will happily remove these protective barriers from her life, but we don’t know when that time will come. At this point, we don’t know Reagan any more than you do. We love her, pray for her, and hope that she will soon come to love and trust us. However, we don’t know what that process will look like, and have no idea if it will take weeks, or months, or more. So please be patient. We know you will be. You have all been so supportive and loving from the time we first decided to adopt, and we have no doubt that you will continue to support and pray for us during this time of transition. We’re going from a family of four to a family of five. Reagan is going from no family, no real home, nothing to call her own, to all the craziness that living with us will entail! So please pray for her, pray for wisdom for us, and be willing to wait just a little bit longer to hold our baby girl!

My handy-dandy Sitemeter tells me that quite a few of you are checking up on me, yet I know I’ve not been very faithful to fill you all in on what’s going on. You're not going to get much of an update now, but needless to say I’ve had just a few things to do, not the least of which is spending every possible second enjoying Alyssa and Parker. Before last Thursday I was pretty sure I had everything under control and was ready to go. Now that we actually have our tickets (yes, the FedEx man delivered them today!), I’m feeling a little less confident. I know the major stuff is done, and if the last few items on my list don’t get checked off, we’ll survive. However, the perfectionist in me wants to have every last detail wrapped up, and to leave a clean house behind too! So what am I doing tomorrow to prepare? Going to Disneyland of course! Chances of us making it back there in June are not great with a new baby at home, our annual passes are blacked-out in July and August (and who wants to go with the crowds anyway?) and Alyssa starts Kindergarten mid-August. So, the paperwork and lists can wait, the cleaning can wait... my kids need to visit the happiest place on earth! (And mommy could use the distraction too!).

My heart is still racing (I feel like I’ve been jogging non-stop since Thursday), but I am finally thinking a little more clearly. My hands aren’t shaking quite so much either. But I still don’t have much more news to report. We haven’t purchased our plane tickets yet. I hope to get the details ironed out with our travel agent this afternoon. We’re out of town at a wedding all weekend, so communication has been a little difficult. I’m actually sitting in the bathroom of our hotel room while I type, trying to preserve as much serenity as possible for the flower girl who is STILL sleeping, despite the fact that it’s almost 10 am. The miracle of blackout curtains!
It looks like we’ll be leaving for Vietnam in less than 2 weeks! Our plane will leave LA around 1 am on Friday, May 11th, and we hope to return sometime before Thursday, May 31st. I’m not sleeping much trying to process all that needs to be done between now and then. I really felt like I was prepared, but now that it’s finally happening I realize there’s still a lot to think about! I’m determined to enjoy the time though and soak up every last ounce of Alyssa and Parker before I have to say goodbye to those sweet faces and our world turns upside down forever!

My hands are shaking, my heart is racing, my mind is a big muddled mess. We finally got our travel dates!!! In just 2 weeks we’ll be leaving for Vietnam, and on Tuesday, May 15th Reagan will be ours forever!!! I’ll write again when I’m a little more calm, but couldn't wait to share our most exciting news!

When a four-year-old makes breakfast... you end up with wheat toast topped with apple butter and dried cranberries. She ate it all with no complaint, but needless to say, mama didn't ask for a taste!

Nesting again… I finally made the time to paint the stripes in Alyssa’s (and soon-to-be Reagan’s) room. I had tackled the same project in our last home and she’s been bugging me to do it ever since we moved here. For over a year now the room has been the lighter base color. It actually does have a tinge of pink in it, but Alyssa just keeps telling me, “but I can’t see it!” So when I started cutting in with the darker pink she excitedly told me “I can see now!” Later she gave me a big hug and said “I appreciate it mama.” I guess that makes all the hours of taping worth it. Dan likes it so much that he wants me to do a couple of horizontal stripes in Parker’s room. Just when I thought I was coming to the end of my list!

I told myself I wasn’t going to play this game because to me it just seems way too hard, but Cindy was so sweet about the way she tagged me that I couldn’t say no. It also requires me to reveal all the TV shows I enjoy, and some of the episodes in some of these programs are not entirely honorable. That said, please don’t consider this a blanket endorsement of any series =). So this is the way it works: I’ve selected 3 key words from the plot descriptions of 10 of my favorite TV shows past or present. Your job is to try to guess what they are. If that sounds like fun to you, I welcome you to play along. If not, don’t worry about it!

Tribes, million, reality
Global, pit stops, pairs
Central Perk, “Smelly Cat”, paleontologist
Makeover, $5000, nominated
Grissom, forensic, Las Vegas
Mode, telenovela, sweet
Family, overbearing, Barone
Missing, FBI, recovery
Branson, adventure, prize
Quiz, questions, “Daily Double”

All my griping has been for naught… our paperwork has been moving after all!!! Reagan’s dossier has been sent to Hanoi for processing, and is already on its way back to the government in her province. They’ll approve it and send it to the People’s Committee who will then set our Giving and Receiving date. Which means… we’ll soon be boarding a plane for Vietnam! We should know our travel dates within the next couple of weeks, and I think at that point I’ll finally be able to believe that we really are going to have another daughter! God is good, even when I’m struggling!

Over and over I’ve heard it said that adoption is a roller coaster of emotions, but I really wasn’t prepared for how it would feel when it was my turn to ride. Last week we were climbing up, sending away for our visas, pouring over new pictures, being assured that our paperwork would be moving on any moment. I thought this down would be the exciting climax of the ride – the last crazy loop before the finale and relief. I was sure we’d hear today that Reagan’s dossier was already in Hanoi and possibly even on its way back to her province. I was pretty sure that a Giving and Receiving date was on the horizon and we’d be making travel arrangements in the next couple of weeks. I was wrong. We received no news today. No bad news either, for which I should be grateful, but once again I’m disappointed. I’m really getting tired of this. Mondays hold such promise, but Monday nights can be so dreary. I’m ready to get off this ride. I’m ready to stop waiting. I’m ready to get my girl and get on with life.

Okay. Thanks for listening. Now I’m ready to go to bed and stop whining.

I got so excited about the new pictures of Reagan that I forgot to post Easter pictures. Here are some cute shots of the two precious gifts I enjoy each and every day.

ANOTHER new picture! This is the first one we've seen in which she hasn't had little booties on...look at those long toes! I really thought that new pictures would satisfy me for a while, but instead they have just made me even more anxious to hold that sweet girl.

Guess who is applying for visas today? Us!!! I couldn’t be more excited! No, that’s not true. I would be more excited if we were getting on a plane, or I was holding my baby girl in my arms, but I’ll take this for now. Reagan’s paperwork still hasn’t been sent to Hanoi, but our agency and our lawyer in Vietnam are sure that it will be “very soon” – probably the end of this week, or possibly the beginning of next. Most families travel about a month after that, so we’re getting close! We were told to put May 1st as the earliest entry date, which I’ll take as a sign that May travel is likely. Yeah! Off to fill out more paperwork – I’ll post more good news as soon as we get it!

Well, it’s my turn to reveal 10 odd things about me. Dan really liked this topic and was quick to point out many of my oddities. Here are a few:

(1) I always have to set my alarm to an odd number, and preferably not :15 or :45. Most mornings it’s set to 4:51 to help Dan wake up (which, incidently, is actually 4:48 – I can fool myself into waking up a few minutes early this way).
(2) I eat more than my husband. I don’t eat a ton, but he is not all that interested in food and sometimes actually forgets to eat. I, on the other hand, need a meal at least every 4 hours. Fortunately, I have been blessed with a fast metabolism, which helps explain #3.
(3) I am the hot one in the family… temperature-wise that is. Most of the time it’s the man who offers his jacket to his wife. We reverse that trend. I’ve passed the gene along to Alyssa too. She and I can happily go all winter with no more than a denim jacket, while Dan can rarely be found without his ski coat.
(4) I can drink Diet Coke (or lately, Coke Zero) at all hours of the day. I don’t drink coffee, so a can of soda provides my caffeine boost many mornings, and can happily replace dessert. I’m a little nervous about whether I’ll able to track down this favorite treat in Vietnam.
(5) I love pedicures, but have never been interested in manicures. I think my first and only manicure was for my wedding. My frugality factors into this, since they just don’t last very long. My primary reason for neglecting my nails, however, is that I’ve played piano almost daily since I was 8 years old and therefore must keep them short. A manicure doesn’t look that cute on short nails.
(6) I compulsively set the emergency brake on my SUV, but rarely hard enough to actually keep the truck from going anywhere. I often get blocks away from home before I realize that it’s on. This one drives Dan crazy, so I’m gradually kicking the habit.
(7) I lived on a moshav in college while studying the Bible in Israel. I traveled quite a bit internationally in my teen years, but it is the one place I am determined to take my family someday.
(8) I skipped the 6th grade. I was a bit of a geek in school.
(9) I drink at least a gallon of milk a week. The four of us plow through 4 gallons per grocery-store trip.
(10) My kids will attend the same high school as my mom, though I grew up 1100 miles from here. My parents met at the college Dan attended, moved away for 30 years, and only just moved back when they realized their grandkids were staying put.

That’s enough for tonight, and I’m sure enough to scare all of you. Sit down and think about it long enough and you’ll find that you’re probably quite strange too! I tag Jessica, because she is dying over there in Florida waiting for a referral, and Erin, because I think it may be the only way to get her to update her blog!

Thanks Leigh!

It seems that the mom who wrote a description of Reagan for us while she was at her orphange had her mixed up with another baby girl. This actually describes Reagan's little friend Sophie, who's just one day older. Her recollections of Reagan are as follows:

"[Reagan] was a doll baby. She, too, looks well fed and healthy. She spent a good deal of the time in one of the care-takers arms. They are so loving to the children. I had to love on her, too. I did not see her cry while we were there. She is a beautiful girl and so attentive to what's going on around her. Her parents are SO blessed to have such a precious angel."

I agree. Thanks Heather!

We'll be there soon baby girl! This picture was taken just a few weeks ago by another mom picking up her son at Reagan's orphanage. She just gets more beautiful every time I see her! News that our paperwork is moving along would be even better, but this precious snapshot will tide me over for a little while.

I thought we were doing a pretty good job of teaching Alyssa and Parker about the meaning of Easter. However, a brief conversation on Friday made me doubt whether we’ve really gotten through to them. Before we went to see grandma, I warned the children that grandma and grandpa’s dog, Roxy, had died.
To clarify, Parker asked, “Roxy died?”
“Yes Parker, Roxy died” I replied
His next question is what made me wonder (and made me laugh):
“On the cross?”

Dying eggs is fun... just a little messy. The dye seems to come out of clothes okay, but little bitty fingernails seem to be indellibly stained, just in time for celebrating Christ's resurrection. I've tried soap, nail polish remover, hydrogen peroxide, and most everything else I can think of. Any ideas?

First of all, thank you. Though I’m still feeling a little anxious, I have been greatly encouraged by all of your sweet comments, e-mails, and most of all – prayers.

I’ve also been rebuked and strengthened by my study of Romans chapter 12. Verse 11 commands believers to not be “lagging in diligence.” One commentary explained that whatever is worth doing in the Christian life is valuable enough to be done with enthusiasm (even adoption!). Another said that this phrase is “directed against the serious problem of weariness in doing good (Galatians 6:9). If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you know how easy it is to get discouraged. It is hard to keep on steadily.” Don’t I know how true that is! Then just one verse later we are commanded to be “patient in tribulation.” While I’ve certainly never experienced the kind of tribulation Paul and so many other Christians have endured, this process is no doubt a trial. I often think about the principle found in I Peter 2:20: “When you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God.” The context here is physical persecution from harsh employers. Obviously I’m not being beaten, and my trial isn’t the result of hostility, but my suffering is a direct consequence of doing good – extending mercy to an orphan. I think it’s then reasonable to conclude that God would commend my patience in the midst of this process… if only I was being patient. Something another adoptive mom wrote about months ago has stuck with me: there is a difference between waiting and being patient. She was in exactly the same stage of the process at the time, and I think I’ll always remember her call for prayers for her own patience. Just because we’ve waited so long doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve learned all the lessons God had in store for us. Which brings me back to Romans 12:12 and this final thought from my Bible study notes: “Paul adds ‘in respect to affliction be patient’ – not just resigned in some fatalistic sense, accepting what cannot be changed, but rather waiting confidently for God’s resolution of the problem, knowing that He will reward good and punish evil in His own time” (emphasis mine). I want to honor God in my wait. I want to be patient so that now and in the future I, and others, can say with certainty "God is in control and He deserves all glory for working out His best in my life."

I have to admit that today I’m a little discouraged. I long to say with confidence that NEXT month we’ll meet our daughter, but I’ve been disappointed SO many times throughout this process that I’m afraid to even hope. 20 months ago this week we sent in our initial application to our agency. That’s just WAY too long to be pregnant, even in the paper sense. I think what scares me the most is that I feel my faith in God’s timing wavering a little. In my head I know that He loves me and will accomplish His best for our family, which is always better than any plan I could orchestrate for myself. My heart, however, wonders if I’ll still be able to call that plan “good” if we don’t travel until June. We’ve already waited a week longer than all but one family who has adopted from Reagan’s province. If we don’t hear that her paperwork has moved onto Hanoi inside the next few weeks, May travel will become less and less likely. Our agency seems confident that we’ll be hearing good news soon, but they were also pretty sure we’d wait 1-3 months for a referral. We actually waited 4 ½. Compared to the wait now, we were very fortunate, but the disappointment wears on you. We have been on the long end, or past the long end, of every timeframe we’ve been given thus far. You would think I’d just accept that each successive step would follow the same pattern, but I can’t help but hope for the best.
Okay, now I’m starting to sound a bit whiney. That’s not good. I know all you adoptive moms out there will sympathize with what I’m feeling though, and I’m grateful to have this avenue for sharing what I’m sure are not uncommon thoughts. Even those of you who haven’t adopted can pray, and today I need it. I’m not even sure what to pray for anymore, so hopefully those of you godly readers will be willing to speak to God with more clarity and wisdom than I can. I want to pray, “Lord, bring her home TODAY!” I know I should pray “Lord, bring her home in Your perfect time” but I’m afraid. Afraid that His time just might be longer than my heart can bear. So for now I’ll just pray that He’ll continue to take care of her, and give me the patience to endure with more joy than I’m feeling right now.

We’re not exactly city slickers, but we’re far from country folk. However, our home is situated almost equidistant from one of the largest cities in the world and this ranch. A co-worker of Dan’s graciously invited us to his home today where the kids enjoyed some up-close time with animals slightly more exotic than grandma’s dog. Parker was nuts about the horses, chickens, goats, and donkey. He wants Buttercup (one of the miniature horses) to come stay in his room! Alyssa wasn’t quite so sure, but ask her about it now and she’ll talk a big game. We all had a great time and even got to take home some authentic ranch dust and “souvenir” chocolate bunnies!

Some of the fruits of my nesting:

I love to paint… rather I should say, I love to paint walls. Children’s play “barns” and moulding… not so much. My next painting projects involve stripes in the kids’ rooms that necessitate a lot of taping and prep (diminishing the instant-gratification factor significantly) but I am thrilled to be done with these two tasks. They both look pretty good if I do say so myself. Dan helped quite a bit with the sanding inside and rolling outside, so here’s a little credit for him!

Our garden has been sadly neglected over the last year since we moved in because we’ve been so busy on inside projects. Our home is 7 years old, but apparently the two previous owners were not much concerned about landscaping either. These little plants which I gave a home to this weekend represent the only non-builder-installed vegetation on our property. Hopefully they’ll grow quickly and cover up some of the more utilitarian elements of our front walk.

Today I’m working on sorting through Alyssa’s old clothes. I feel a little bad, but based on the boxes in front of me, I doubt that Reagan will be wearing anything new for a while. Pictures of one very full little girls’ closet coming soon!

So I’ve been thinking lately about why it is that I’m so anxious to pick up Reagan. Of course she is my daughter in so many ways, but I know it will be some time before my affection for her will rival that which I have for Alyssa and Parker. I don’t know her at all, so the love I have for her is more in my head at this point than in my heart. That isn’t to say that my heart doesn’t ache for her, or that I don’t long to hold her, but I don’t miss her in the same way I would if one of the children I already know intimately were taken from me. Is that bad? I don’t think my feelings are totally out of the ordinary. Based on what I’ve gleaned from other adoptive moms it seems that while the unconditional love one has for any of your children exists almost immediately, the emotional bond takes time.
In addition to the love factor, I’m also trying to learn to enjoy my life as it is without Reagan. I liken it to those who are overly anxious to get married. Singleness is a gift – whether you have it until age 25 or for a lifetime, it is a gift to be grateful for, not wished away. Singleness brings opportunities for service within the church and freedom that don’t exist within marriage. Not that marriage isn’t wonderful, and I wouldn’t trade Dan for the world, but I wish I been more faithful to the call to use my singleness for God’s glory. In the same way, I need to make the most of my time with only 2 children. Alyssa and Parker are such a blast! They are easy to have around, are becoming more and more independent every day, and can go just about anywhere. I know that having a baby home will change some of that. I will still be determined to get out (most) every day, but a quick stop at the grocery store will be an even more distant memory. Solid nights of sleep will be more rare. A three-hour chunk of (nap!) time each afternoon to get stuff done will no longer be all mine. We’ll be sharing our life and home with a child who doesn’t know us, our country, our habits, our smell – anything about us!

So, while I love Reagan and can’t wait to bring her home, I think I’m becoming more realistic about what that will mean for all of us. I know from experience that another child in our lives will bring unspeakable joy, but also some very real challenges. I’m learning to trust God’s timing and trust His perfect plan for our family… whatever that might be!

I started packing today. I know it’s crazy. I know it will still be a month or more before we actually get on a plane. But I had to do SOMETHING!!! I am nesting like I’ve never nested (this time I have the energy to match my drive) but all of the projects on my to-do list are either in the kids’ rooms or outside. Since it rained a little today, and my best project hours are during Alyssa and Parker’s sleeping hours, I packed. I also had a couple of hours to shop this morning without kids in tow so the corner of my closet devoted to Vietnam was overflowing. What’s amazing to me though is just how much more packing there is to do. How am I ever going to fit all this stuff into the recommended ONE bag, ONE carry-on? While I admire my agency’s optimism, that simply is not going to be a reality for us. I've barely put a dent in my shopping list thus far! You would think I had never traveled internationally before. In college I picked up and moved to Israel for almost 4 months with less than a week's notice. How can it take a month to pack for a 3-week trip? Of course I know the answer: my baby is there! I have to pass the time somehow!

... Well, now I need to edit this to say shame on me for even hinting at a complaint! I am so blessed to enjoy two precious babies every day, and a little time to prepare for another is a good thing (just not too much please Lord!). Check out this link to "Zerfoss Journey." Joe is a friend of mine from Jr. High and High School. He and his dear wife have been working towards adopting their first child domestically for almost 2 years. They found out last Monday that their profile was being presented to a birth mom, and they brought home their new son this Tuesday! Talk about a whirlwind of emotions! Somehow I doubt that her shopping list was completely checked off. So I've spoiled the ending for you, but theirs is still an incredible story and I recommend starting way back in her archives at the beginning. The testimony of their faith through both joy and heartache will undoubtedly touch your heart.

Well I just had to post this little glimpse of Reagan related to me by a mom who met her (and of course her SON!) on Wednesday:

"Little Reagan is a doll. . . and so photogenic. She just laughs all over herself. . . a very happy little girl. I told her that her mommy and daddy were coming for her. I know she is so ready, although she is getting much love at the orphanage for now. She looks really healthy and well fed. She is probably in a 6 months right now (clothing). When she smiles, she is all gums! Too cute!!"

What a treasure these little reassurances are. I just can't wait until the day when our knowledge of our daughter will not be limited to a handful of pictures and a few paragraphs of second-hand descriptions!

Spring is here. Well, not officially until Tuesday, but evidence of it abounds around here. We actually dug out the sunscreen for a trip to our favorite park yesterday and were warm in our tank tops and t-shirts. The trees in our neighbors’ yards are blooming beautifully, and this weekend we’re going to fill in our rather sparse yard with some new plants. Yeah for spring!

What an encouraging (but exhausting) week this has been! One of the highlights of our church’s year is hosting the annual Shepherd’s Conference. Pastors from around the world gather to be equipped, encouraged, and generally spoiled by our church. I can say that because I had very little to do with any of the spoiling. I did, however, have the priviledge of being on campus Thursday to witness what amounts to Disneyland for these men. Many of them come from churches that little appreciate the demands of teaching the Word of God, and this week alone is a breath of fresh air. We got to host 4 men from Texas in our home, who so overwhelmed us with their gratitude that we felt like we were the ones being served - even the resulting 9 loads of laundry felt insignificant. One of the greatest joys, however, was fellowship with a dear friend who is serving as a missionary in Croatia. Sitting here after dinner tonight, amidst almost constant laughter, he testified to the fact that his service in a foreign country is no sacrifice. Over and over again he isisted "It is no sacrifice." Sure, he is human, and there are comforts that he and his family forego living outside the United States, but they find such joy in doing the work God has called them to that it seems as if they’re giving up nothing at all. Lately Dan and I have been challenged to evaluate our financial giving to the Lord, but compared to what our friends have foregone in His service, money is nothing. If God is really going to be honored by the investment we make in His work, it must be a joy. And it is a joy. While it must be sacrificial, it is no sacrifice.

Boys are gross. The grown-up-type are gross, as any male or married female can attest, but I always assumed that must be due at least primarily to training. I was wrong. They come out of the box with a propensity towards grossness, and most it seems never grow out of it. Fortunately for mommies, the innocence of the littlest males makes their grossnesses (spell-check is telling me that’s not a word) very nearly hilarious. At least that’s true in the case of my sweet Parker. As you may remember, he’s been potty-trained for several months now. However, when you’re dealing with a male bottom, there are more issues to be dealt with than simply timing. There’s this thing called aim. Parker doesn’t yet have that part down. We’re working on it, but we have had the inevitable accidents. This is where the gross part comes in. A few days ago, I was observing as Parker did his business. Unfortunately, in the handling of the appropriate member, his fingers got a little wet. And what do you do when your fingers are dirty. Well, if you’re a two year-old boy, you lick them off. Yes, lick. Do you think an exception would be made for urine? Of course not. Do you think there would be enough hesitancy to give mom a chance to stop the offensive action? No again. Do you think the taste would cause him pause? Nope. The crazy part is that this is the boy who can’t stand to have a little sugar on his hands from a churro. Licking is out of the question when it comes to sugar. Mama must come to the rescue with a wet-wipe for that kind of dirty. But urine? No big deal. At least it’s sterile, right?

NEW PICTURES!!!

Our precious Reagan is now 4 months old, and just look how she's grown! I have to say, it really is strange to watch your child grow up in photographs. I hardly recognized her, and truly had to look at these side-by-side with her 2 month photo to assure myself that they got the right baby. Of course they did, and I do see some similarities, but she certainly has changed. I'm glad they keep sending us these updates or I'd be liable to embrace the wrong child upon arriving in Vietnam. While I love this little girl, and long to hold her, she still is so much a stranger to us. My thoughts are so often consumed with her, yet until I received these pictures today I wouldn't have been able to pick her out of a crowd. I wouldn't recognize her cry if I heard it. I no nothing of her habits, temperment, preferences... yet she's my daughter all the same. I'm encouraged to see that she's grown, but relieved to see that she's still so small. I love the little shirt she's wearing, but can't wait to see her in the outfit I bought today. I'm glad that she can't take her eyes off of this caregiver, but wish it was my face she was glued to.

NEXT month might be THE month! I am still holding out hope that we will be able to travel to Vietnam in April. Things have to start moving here pretty quickly if that is going to be the case, but I am optimistic! Supposedly, the Vietnamese return from the Tet holiday anxious to work hard and start the New Year off right. If that’s the case, the police in Reagan’s province should be wrapping up her paperwork soon, and progress like that would certainly make this mama very happy. At the very least we anticipate receiving a new picture this week or next. The director of the Vietnam program at our agency just returned from a visit to all the orphanages, and will be dolling out her photos as soon as she recovers from jet lag. It seems as if most of the families from our agency are getting very anxious for some good news, and I count myself among the antsy crowd. We’ve only been logged in for a month, but it’s been almost 3 months since our referral and I am READY to bring that baby girl home. I have started filling a corner of our closet with all that we’ll take with us. I’ve complied a very extensive packing list. I’ve purchased at least a suitcase full of orphanage donations. I've started to come to terms with the fact that I’ll be away from my bio babies for 3 weeks. I’ve resurrected all of our baby gear. I’ve reorganized our entire house (don’t think nesting is just for the physically pregnant!). Just give me the word and I’ll be out the door!

Our first "portrait" as a family of 5!

You ought to see my spreadsheet. As you may or may not know, I’m a CPA (or rather, a mostly-retired, technically “inactive” CPA), so organizing my life in Excel comes very naturally. For months and months now I’ve been tracking every little bit of info I can get my hands on about the timing of other families through this adoption process (about 70 of them at this point – and that only includes those who participate in our agency’s on-line forum). Did you know that Excel can calculate dates? Of course, our agency tries very hard to drill into our heads the fact that we really shouldn’t compare timelines. But when you’re this emotionally involved in a process (a child!) over which you have ZERO control, you are reduced to prayer and analysis. It’s embarrassing how many times I have manipulated the dates trying to figure out just when we’ll be picking up our precious girl. Add to that the complications of a wedding we’re trying to work around, my parents’ vacation plans, and my teaching schedule, and we’re looking at a very small window of “ideal” travel time. At this point, the very best case scenerio (based on past experience) would have us traveling the first week of April, while the worst case scenerio (based on past experience, plus a few weeks of extra delays for Tet) would put us on a plane the last week of May. I refuse to even think about the fact that our agency insists families should plan on a 3-6 month wait from log-in date to travel. 6 months means August, and that I just couldn’t bear. We have a lot of godly people praying for early April, so let’s hope that’s God’s will!

"The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much" - James 5:16

My heart is full, my mind is blown, my body is tired. Dan and I spent the weekend at a conference sponsored by the college group at our church – our ministry of choice for the past few years. Resolved was a weekend full of little else but fabulous music and incredible expository preaching. Over 3200 people, mostly age 22 and under, gathered to worship our God enthusiastically and with conviction. Sleeping, and even eating, was generally set aside, which says a lot if you know me at all. I’d love to say more, and perhaps someday soon I’ll post exactly how God impacted me, but a fellow blogger has said it all so much better than I could. Challies’ notes from each of the 9 sermons might as well be transcripts they’re so detailed! I’d especially recommend the content from John Piper… you can even listen to them yourself if you’d like. It was such a blessing to be surrounded by so many individuals who are committed to the truth of God’s Word, and despite the exhaustion (and being away from my kids way too much!) I’d go again next weekend if I could.

One of the moms on an adoption forum I participate in asked this question recently: Where were you when you got “the call” (informing you of your referral)? It was such a fun moment to recall that I thought I’d share it with all of you.
Though I had been on pins and needles for weeks, jumping every time the phone rang, just 2 days before THE call I had spoken with the Vietnam director at our agency who indicated it might still be a while before they would have referral for us. That said, I really wasn’t expecting such great news so soon. Friday morning, December 8th, Dan and I were sleeping in, enjoying a little time without the kids. Around 9 (remember, we're champion sleepers), the phone rang and I answered only because I saw that it was Dillon. Katie, our case manager, sensed I was a little groggy and apologized, but of course I wasn’t about to complain! She told us they had a baby girl for us! I didn’t freak out quite the way I thought I might… perhaps because I wasn’t fully awake! I quickly found paper and a pen to write down everything they knew about her. It’s a miracle any of that was legible because my hands were shaking so badly. The biggest shock was that our girl really was a BABY… only 6 weeks old at the time. We were open to a toddler and only one other infant had ever been adopted from Vietnam through our agency, so I was fully expecting to bring home at least a one-year old. (Of course it was a very pleasant surprise – I’m thrilled that we’ll miss so little of her precious life.) Well, once I hung up with Katie, I ran to shake Dan awake with the news. He was startled, excited, everything you’d expect. Together we sat in bed with our laptop and opened her picture together. Within a few minutes we had a photo order sent off to Costco so we’d be able to share her with everyone. We quickly got ready, donned the traditional Vietnamese hat one of Dan’s co-workers had brought to him, and drove over to my parents to retrieve the kids from their sleepover. It took a few minutes for my mom to understand why Dan was wearing the hat, but instantly teared up when she realized what it meant. Alyssa and Parker caught on then too, and we promptly called my sister to come over, and summoned my Dad from the golf course. Before we left, my mom took our first family “portrait”: the four of us together with Reagan’s photo. From there we tracked Dan’s mom, sister, and nieces down at Target. Parker wore the hat, and Alyssa assaulted them with the picture. One of the funniest moments came from a stranger who was in the same isle my in-laws had been shopping in. Observing all of our hugs and chatter, she quickly figured out what was happening, and came up to me saying: “I don’t know you, but I just have to give you a hug. Congratulations!” We then all went to lunch with my father-in-law to share the great news with him. It all felt so much like announcing a pregnancy, but even better in some respects. We already had a picture and name for our baby, and the hope that we’d get to meet her in less than 9 months! I really think it will be hard for Reagan to ever doubt that she was wanted, prayed for, and greatly anticipated by her ENTIRE family!

Tet isn’t so bad after all. We were repeatedly warned by our agency that progress on the adoption front would come to a screeching halt for the entire month of February. I’m thrilled to report that they were wrong! Not only has February brought us our log-in date, 2 families received referrals, and several others were given the fabulous news that they will be able to pick up their precious children in just a few short weeks! Of course we’re not waiting for any news in particular – we expect that this next step will take about 6 weeks – but it’s encouraging to hear that work is still being done, and that presumably, our paperwork is moving along too. I’m sure that everything will slow down considerably over the next couple of weeks since Tet officially starts on Sunday, but I’ve also heard that the Vietnamese tend to work harder after the New Year celebration, so maybe it will all cancel itself out. One can hope!

On an unrelated topic (kind of)... Since I don’t have any recent pictures of Reagan, I thought I’d dig through My Pictures and find some photos of our bio kids when they were 3 ½ months old. I imagine Reagan will be significantly smaller, since both Alyssa and Parker were almost twice her size at birth, but it’s fun to think about what that stage looks and acts like and try to imagine what she’s up to these days!

Alyssa

Parker

LID!!! We finally have our log-in date! That basically means that the powers that be in Hanoi have approved our paperwork and authorized the government in Reagan’s province to begin compiling her dossier. So, as of Monday, we can officially start counting down our 3-6 month wait to travel. As most of you know, I’m a little compulsive about spreadsheets and such so I’ve been diligently tracking the timeframes of other families who have adopted babies from Reagan’s orphanage through our agency. Of course, we’re not supposed to compare, but even with an extra 3 week delay for Tet we would still travel in May if we don’t end up being the worst case scenario. I’m hoping for early May! The class I teach at my alma matter will essentially be over on May 2nd, the wedding in which Dan is serving as best-man and Alyssa as flower-girl will be past, and we could still make it home in time for Parker’s 3rd birthday. I’m confident God already has it perfectly orchestrated, but it’s fun to see that we’re making progress!

And I thought our adoption journey was difficult… A dear woman and friend who teaches my Bible Study Fellowship class on Tuesdays spent the summer with her family at an orphanage in Swaziland. They taught in the school, cared for the children, and lived in conditions consistent only with a third-world country (i.e. no refrigeration, no running water, no heating/cooling, etc.). As far as they knew, it was impossible to adopt any of the children, and with their 3 biological children nearly grown, adoption was the furthest thing from their minds. That is, until shortly before they left. Their youngest daughter (who had always begged for younger siblings) had fallen in love with one little girl in particular, and they learned that they might, in fact, be allowed to adopt her. After a couple of months contemplating the decision at home, they decided to pursue adopting both her and another little girl. So in October my friend set out, alone, to pick up these children. She expected to be back by Thanksgiving. Instead, she just barely made home before Valentine’s Day. A series of heart-wrenching events delayed their paperwork, prevented them from adopting the girl they already loved, and finally led her home with a baby girl and 2 ½ year-old boy to occupy the room they had set up for two older girls. Today I saw them all for the first time, and I couldn’t contain my tears. Tears of relief for her and joy for the two children who had been left for dead. R~’s children already seemed to be bonded well (due in no small part I’m sure to the 3+ months she spent with them in their home country), and it was amazing to see this miracle of adoption unfolded before my eyes. Of course the children are very dark and R~ is very blonde, but she IS their mom – no doubt about it. What an amazing legacy they now have – to go from biological parents who cared nothing for them, to a hospital laundry room where they ate whatever they could find for themselves, to a family that sacrificed everything to give them the opportunity to live, to hear the truth of the gospel, and to be loved unconditionally. When R~ first left, I admit I was a tad jealous. Here they had just decided that adoption was God’s plan for their family, and she was already on a plane to go get their children. Of course, all of this waiting we’re doing has its own challenges, but I can confidently say now that I prefer God’s plan for us to God’s plan for her! At least I can hold the babies He’s already given me while I wait for our next one. Dan Phillips over at Pyromaniacs challenged my thinking in this regard with a recent post. He reminded me that all the requests I bring to God which have so far been answered “not yet” only seem urgent because of all the prayers He’s already answered with a “yes.” I’m only longing for Reagan’s paperwork to be processed quickly and to receive updated pictures because God’s already provided us with a referral. I have time to sit and dwell on these things because He’s answered my prayers for the health of our children, the safety of Dan at work, and faithful provision of our basic needs (and MORE!). If that were not the case, those prayers would be the most urgent. So I’m going to try to be grateful for my wait, for the “yeses” that the wait rests upon, and especially for the fact that I’m waiting in California, not Swaziland.

I had a dream last night that we finally received our log-in-date. For those of you not as familiar with adoptionese, LID is the date when the Vietnamese government first approves our paperwork and authorizes Reagan’s province to start compiling her dossier. We’ve already been waiting almost 5 weeks since our dossier was sent to Vietnam, and the family we’re hoping to travel with has been waiting almost 7. It’s supposed to take 2-6 weeks, but since when are we on the quick end of the timeframe estimates? I’m starting to get a little anxious because until we get our LID we really can’t begin the “3-6” month countdown to travel, and Tet is just around the corner. Tet is the lunar New Year celebration that basically shuts down the whole country of Vietnam for most of the month of February. According to my dream we were logged in on January 22. Somehow I think I’m probably a little too optimistic in my dreams! However, some families have been logged-in for 10 days before receiving word, so it’s possible. Unlikely, but possible. Keep praying!