My baby is one!

Reagan turns one today, and my feelings approaching this event have been mixed. While it is a big milestone, in many ways it seems very anticlimactic. One year ago today was just a normal day for us – we had no idea that halfway around the world a little girl we would come to love with all of our hearts had been born. We surely thought about her and prayed for her on that day, but we have no cherished memories to accompany this celebration. Dan went to work while I stayed home with Alyssa and Parker, and I then spent the evening teaching my Cost Accounting course. There are no stories to rehearse of going into labor, packing up for the hospital, checking in, enduring the pain, joyfully setting our eyes on our child, greeting visitors, or any of the other things that normally accompany a birth. Instead I’m left to imagine what that day must have been like for the woman who gave Reagan life. Her feelings likewise must have been very mixed both then and now. She endured the pain of childbirth, but probably without the joy a mother is usually rewarded with at the end. Perhaps she was relieved to no longer be pregnant, but also faced the pain of knowing that she would never really know the baby she had cared and sacrificed for over the previous 9 months. While I wonder about and pray for her, she is probably equally curious about us. Perhaps she wonders who Reagan has become, what she looks like, whether she’s healthy, happy and loved. She may know by now that Reagan has been adopted by Americans. I wonder how she feels about a part of herself now residing so far away. I wonder whether we’ll ever get to meet this special lady. Somehow I think probably not. It’s strange that so many clues about who our daughter is and who she’ll become are hidden from us. Reagan herself will likely have even more unanswered questions than I do. I pray that she will be able to reconcile those missing pieces with the little bit we do know. More importantly I pray that she will one day embrace Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and find her identity in Him. So, we will celebrate today with a special appreciation for the life we have been entrusted with, and both the God and the woman who made that life possible.