Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Our guestbook

Now that our adoption journey is over I know that I won't get quite as many daily hits here as in the past few weeks. So, before you all bore of news of our daily life and go away, I have a quick favor to ask... If you've followed us through this crazy process, or even just through our travels, will you post a comment, even if it's just your name, as a kind of guestbook for Reagan's life journal? Or, if you don't have a google account and don't want to get one, will you send me a quick little e-mail at We have been so encouraged by all of you and would love to have a record of the many people who have directly or indirectly played a role in this process. Thanks!!!
FINALLY! A family of five!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

HOME!!! By the grace of God we received Reagan's visa yesterday afternoon, made both of our flights, and arrived at LAX last night to a huge welcoming party of family and friends! I think there were at least 28 people waiting for us, complete with balloons, flowers, and American flags for the newest cutest US citizen. My heart about burst holding all three of my babies and thinking about the incredible God we serve Who brought us all back together! We're now enjoying a quiet morning together digging through all our souviners, damp dirty clothes, and restocking our fridge... more later.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Good news… but keep praying! We have an appointment with the embassy this afternoon! This mama bear was just not going to sit back and let someone keep her from her cubs, but the long story of how and why will have to wait for later. I’m sure this development is due in no small part to all of you at home that are praying for us, so thank you! We aren’t out of the woods yet, however. The embassy typically takes 24 hours to process visas, provided they don’t have any problems with their computer system. Since our appointment today isn’t until 3:30, the visa won’t be ready (presumably) until about 4:00 tomorrow, and our flight is scheduled to leave Hanoi at 7:10 pm. If we miss that flight, there aren’t any more seats available until next Thursday! So please continue to pray! I don’t think my blood pressure has returned to normal since we received the bad news from Dillon on Tuesday, but I continue to preach to myself the truth that God really is in control of all of this. We’ve already seen His hand at work, and hope that His plan for us includes that flight outta here tomorrow night!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Well, the great news of yesterday has quickly vanished into thin air. Despite our agency’s repeated insistence that we would probably be able to come home Friday, and their direct and repeated confirmation of that “fact” this morning by their Vietnam staff, we alas do NOT have an appointment with the Embassy until Friday. Which means, we’re stuck! Clearly a communication issue, but my goodness, we paid great money to have an English-speaker to hold our hand over here. Everyone at Dillon seems to think that we should just be thrilled that we have a healthy baby and that we’re coming home earlier than planned. Fine. Of course. I love my daughter and I’m overjoyed to be her mama. But… they should have kept their mouths shut. Don’t assure me that I’ll be able to see ALL of my kids on Friday when you don’t know that for certain. Don’t expect me to be happy about sitting in Hanoi through Memorial Day weekend they told me I would be in California.
Can you tell that I’m bitter? I’ll probably take this post down in the morning when I’m a little less upset, but I haven’t even been able to eat tonight, and for those of you who know me personally – that’s really saying something.
So please pray. Pray that by some miracle we might be able to get out of here on Friday, and that either way I might be able to (again!) see God’s hand in this process and trust Him Who is far more powerful than any government or agency.

Hot and sweaty in the jungles of Vietnam… here are a few shots of our day-trips to the Me Kong Delta and the tunnels near Cu Chi. Both trips were very worthwhile, but if you plan on going, prepare to be sticky! Overall, I haven’t been quite as miserable as I expected to be in the humidity, but we’ve pretty much given up the fresh and clean feeling. The area Reagan is from – South Central Vietnam – is more arid (though certainly not cool!), so these two excursions took us to areas that more closely resemble the Vietnam in my mind: remote, jungle-y, and very green. I now have a much greater appreciation both for what our American GI’s went through here in the 70’s, and the tenacity of the Vietnamese people. I cannot imagine the misery or terror of trekking through this terrain loaded down with weaponry and gear, with no promise of an air-conditioned van or shower waiting for you at the end of the day, only the fear of the unknown and unseen enemy. However, I also cannot fathom the desperation of people who have concluded that their best option was to literally live underground, digging hundreds of kilometers of tunnels and rooms by hand through hard clay. Danny took a few shots with the VC weaponry of the time and crawled through the tunnels (made larger for us big American tourists, but still much too small for me!), and we all enjoyed riding the boats (ranging from rickety, small and old, to very rickety, tiny and ancient) down and around the islands of the Me Kong Delta. So enjoy the pictures and don't laugh at our hats! There's a reason so many people here wear them - they are lightweight, have a large brim, and actually fit my big head.

Monday, May 21, 2007

I regret to inform all the other prospective adoptive parents out there that the cutest child in Vietnam is already spoken for. I thought she was precious from the first picture we saw, but Reagan seems to get more and more beautiful every day! On top of that, she is a very happy and easy baby thus far. Everywhere we go, men and women stop us to touch and ask about Reagan "Vietnam baby?" and "How old?" "Oh, lucky baby!" they all say, but without a doubt we are the lucky ones.

Today we had our interview with the U.S. consulate here in HCMC - the first step towards getting Reagan's visa to come home. Everything went reasonably smoothly, but the best news is that the embassy in Hanoi now does exit interviews 5 days a week instead of just Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which means... we might get to come home early! We're planning on flying to Hanoi on Wednesday, and if we can get an appointment for Thursday, we'll be home Friday night! We have loved our time here in Vietnam but we do miss home and I really miss Alyssa and Parker, so pray that all will continue to go well!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Do Alyssa and Parker miss us, you ask? Well, just read through this diary of events sent to us by my mother-in-law (Tilly to the kids) and draw your own conclusions:

I have a minute... the children haven't woken up yet. They have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO adorable.
Thought you might like to see what we have been doing over this past week.
Night One:
Painted their 1st picture with our new easel.
Had our 1st Golden Spoon of their stay (a favorite frozen yogurt shop)
Day One:
Woke up, had breakfast (colored cereal)
Painted their 2nd picture
Went to visit a friend
Went to the pool and had a picnic at the pool.
Came home, read a story and went right down for naps.
Up, baths and ready for Aunt Jacque's 60th Birthday Bash.

Day Two:
Cousins Ellie, Lily and Auntie Michelle came for breakfast
Went garage sale buying...and buy we did
Alyssa’s favorite was a fanny belt hat she has worn EVERYWHERE. It is quite the fashion statement… I'm sure that it will catch on anytime now.
Then it was onto a little lunch at McDonald's and of course a toy...the first I'm sure of the entire collection of Shrek characters. At this writing they have TWO, Donkey and Shrek, who makes very "inappropriate" noises....
No painting today!!!! Just naps, dinner, baths and bed
Best part of Day Two? unanimously...the Garage BUYING.

Day Three:
Up VERY early for church (at least for Tilly) and we actually made it to church by 8:25am. Parker was #10 on the roster - not as good as you guys, but I was impressed.
After Church we went over to see Uncle Peter at his fire station. Parker took his first (of many) falls from on top of the rock he had climbed.
Naps...and dinner with Grammie Great and cousins at the Greek restaurant for Mom's day.
Dessert was at Auntie Shell's house, then cousin Ellie came home with us (so that Alyssa didn't have to sleep in her bed all by herself!!!)

Day Four: Monday.
Pancakes were ordered and delivered (Sleeping Beauty and Ariel).
Painting, of course.
Then to the Pool and a picnic.
The usual afternoon, then dinner and a treat (Golden Spoon again!!!)
Papa didn't come with us and Parker said, "why doesn't Papa EVER come with us...that's SO sad."

Day Five:
Just colored cereal for breakfast...and then off to meet friends and cousins at Kidspace in Pasadena.
For dinner we walked (Parker RAN...of course) to a favorite restaurant then a stop at the Park on the way home.
Best Part of the Day: the spooky, Dahk tunnel at Kidspace.
Parker has decided that Kidspace would be a GWEAT when you're ready to let them loose (which probably won't be TOO soon) Parker and I know where we want to go on ouw date!!! then he always finishes a great idea with...."how bout dat?"

Day Six: Wednesday
Woke up...breakfast, then off to DISNEYLAND with more friends and cousins.
Best Ride: Buzz Lightyear
Home by 10:15....not TOO bad!!!

Day Seven: Thursday..
Will be a SLOW day....maybe a little digging out....probably Costco for dinner.....they're busy watching morning "children shows".!!!!

As you can see we are NOT having any fun. They have been SO good....and I Do make them behave and eat....really I do. We have had absolutely NO problems at bedtime, naptime or meals.

They have a date to sleepover with Auntie Sasa on Sunday night so they are excited about that. I'm not sure Dad and I will know what to do with a quiet house, but they'll be back on Monday, full of energy. And that's a good thing as I still have MANY things to do....such as:
Go watch Uncle Peter surf.
Go fishing
Go to the Grove and ride the Trolley and the dolly “hospital.”
Hit some more Garage Sales
More painting, more Golden Spoon and adding to our Shrek collection!!!

I am LOVING every minute of our Special time together. They are absolutely the BEST!!!!
Love you guys...and can't wait to meet little Reagan,


Don't I have fabulous in-laws?! Alyssa and Parker are never going to want us to come home - they'll be so bored with our normal, quiet life. At least they'll have a new live "dolly" to play with!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Another day in HCMC… we feel like we’re starting to get a good feel for the place. We’ve found the Pizza Hut, braved the large smelly market, and are even starting to gain a little confidence in crossing the street. Now that may not sound like a big deal to those of you who have never left the (relatively) controlled intersections and crosswalks of the United States, but even Manhattan is no match for the crazy traffic here in Saigon. I’d say at least 90% of the vehicles here are motorbikes, and maybe only a dozen streetlights exist in the whole city. Watching the flow of bikes, scooters, buses, bicycles and the occasional mobile fruit stand is almost like observing a mechanized dance of some sort. It’s probably not the most efficient or safe system, but it seems to work and we’ve seen very few accidents. We experienced our first rub with a bus today while taking a taxi to the laundromat ($8 for an entire suitcase full of clothes to be washed and ironed!), but even that was an intentional clash of wills and fenders. Crossing the street then usually means taking your life into your hands. You just have to wait for a little break in the flow, step out, and just keep walking. It’s so crazy and so intimidating at first that the government actually employs “tourist security” whose sole responsibility is to help us foreigners make our way across. I love those men in the green uniforms!
All of our walking around today wore poor little Reagan out, so we came back to the room early tonight and have been lucky enough to enjoy the sounds of the wedding reception taking place two floors up. Just imagine the tin-can, synthesized version of such songs as “Valentine” and “Sunrise, Sunset”, followed by Vietnamese techno and you’ll get the idea. Dan took an elevator ride upstairs to check it out and was surprised to find that the door opened directly into the heart of the party. One of the guests invited him to stay, and even introduced him to her friend who lives in “Cali” (since the state is so small and they just might run into each other one of these days), but he declined and we’re now getting ready to climb into bed to rest up for our tour to the Me Kong Delta tomorrow. We have the weekend free so we’re going to try to see as much of this beautiful country as we can!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Well we’re back in Ho Chi Min City (formerly called Saigon), enjoying the change of pace (and food!) from the countryside, but missing the beach. I’d tell you all about what we’ve seen so far here, but the memory stick from my camera is at the Kodak shop next door being copied onto disks (because I’m just that paranoid about my photos), and I haven’t yet downloaded the most recent pictures onto my computer. So, I’ll write more when I have the accompanying pictures because words just can’t do it justice. Here are a few shots of the scenery and baby girl we enjoyed while in Ninh Thuan. The boys in the last shot were a kick! We met them while taking a little walk on the beach, and to our surprise they spoke English better than just about anyone we’ve run into thus far. Talk about a small world!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Officially, legally, finally…ours!
As I type, there is the sweetest little Vietnamese baby peacefully sleeping in the bed next to me. And she’s not going away! She’s ours forever! We just got back from the Giving and Receiving ceremony where the Vietnamese government “gave” and we “received” this precious gift. Dan is still running around with the other dads filing the paperwork to get her passport so Reagan and I are here together in our hotel room (with a view that I still cannot get over – it is gorgeous!). The ceremony itself was more of a photo op than anything very official feeling. We all sat down in a small conference room around an oval table, on chairs very much intended for asian-sized bottoms, with the director of the orphanage and the head of the provincial government here (I think!). The only thing that hinted at the gravity of the occasion was the bust of Uncle Ho and bright red and gold banners behind us. There was a short introduction, the government guy asked us to take good care of the babies and bring them back here some day, and each of the families were asked to give a short speech. We had signed the paperwork before any of the authorities were even in the room, so the official “this is the G&R” part was simply them handing us the papers and posing for a picture. We were probably only all seated there together for 20 minutes or so. But it did the trick and she’s now here with us!
The hard part really was at the orphanage. We picked the children up there before going to the government building and I wasn’t prepared for how emotional that would be. First we attended a meeting with the director and vice director of the orphanage – more of the same “please take good care of them and teach them about their culture” stuff. They also asked that we teach them the Vietnamese language, but given the fact that we’re having a rough time just learning how to pronounce our daughter’s name correctly, that’s a request that will probably be left unfulfilled.
After the meeting we went downstairs to where the nannies were saying good-bye. It was obvious that the girl primarily responsible for taking care of Reagan was having a really hard time. Over the past 3 days when we’ve been at the center she’s rarely made eye contact with us, and has been reluctant to let us hold her. At first I thought she was just a cold personality, but as I watched her interact with Thao Van (Reagan) it became quite clear to me that she was just sad. She loves this little girl, and has spent the better part of most days enjoying and caring for her. While I’m sure she knows that an orphanage is not the best place for any child to grow up, I can certainly understand her pain. She avoided handing Reagan to us until the very last moment, and after she did, she quickly slipped away behind a cabinet to hide her emotion. Before leaving we had the Dillon staff translate for us telling her just how much we appreciated all that she has done for our daughter, and at that she held my arm for just a moment before slipping away again. Dan and I were both in tears too as we then walked out of the orphanage with Reagan and literally just the clothes on her back. Speaking of which, each of the baby girls who were adopted today were dressed in the very best that the orphanage had. We were glad to have brought quite a bit of clothing and toys to leave there so we didn’t feel as bad taking their nicest things. Reagan’s little outfit was sweet and clean, and something I will treasure forever.
Since we’ve been back at the hotel Reagan has just been an angel. So far she seems to be a very easy-going, laid back child and has only wimpered when we gave her a bath, and just before falling asleep. The other girls have had a little harder time, so we are counting ourselves very blessed. Of course, that all could change – we’ve only known her a few short hours, but so far we’re having a ball. I think that her obvious attachment to her nanny, Luc, is a blessing and will help her bond to us more readily. We’ve been enjoying a quiet afternoon at the hotel watching the fishermen in these great little round boats out on the South China Sea. Tomorrow we sit on a bus for 6 ½ hours or more with three babies who before today had never been outside of the four walls of their nursery. That will be the real test!

Monday, May 14, 2007

You may all soon tire of reading every detail of our trip, but I’m so anxious to record it all before these precious memories slip away, and this blog has become my diary of sorts. So, be warned, or feel free to navigate away.
That said, today thus far has been another incredible day. We had the great privilege of just driving around in a tour van all morning, seeing the place that in many ways has already shaped our precious little girl. Our tour guide (not really a guide, but the best English speaker at our hotel and a very sweet and knowledgeable girl) was so accommodating and happily stopped the van for every silly picture we wanted to take. Both she and our driver were quite amused at our fascination with the rice fields, water buffalo and local insects!
Our first stop was the local tourist attraction, the Cham towers. They are beautiful Hindu buildings constructed by the native people in honor of a 12th century king, entirely out of the local red clay. Set up on a hill, they provided a panoramic view of the entire region and a welcome break from the humidity. From there we drove to many of the local villages, piecing together every little bit of info we have on our daughter. A highlight was a stop at a pottery shop where an old woman dressed in traditional clothing formed a large vase before us. While the pottery-making was interesting (and the woman herself, who had a great amount of character), I most enjoyed watching the children who were watching us. As remote as this area is, I doubt that these people often encounter foreigners – let alone large white ones like us! We clearly stood out, and the kids were fascinated… or maybe they were just interested in the candy we shared with them. It was both amusing and sad to see how they clamored over one another to get to us and the lollipops.
We were only gone about 3 hours, but I feel like we did the best we could for Reagan. We’re trying so hard to experience and capture her homeland, and especially her hometown, but words and photos just aren’t enough. They will serve to help refresh our memories as we someday recount to her all that we’ve seen, but we will undoubtedly have to bring her back here someday to experience it for herself. It’s strange for me to think about how decidedly Vietnamese she is today, and yet how thoroughly American she will be before she’s even old enough to know or care. When we first started the adoption process I honestly thought that our daughter’s birth-culture would not really mean that much to us, but I’m beginning to see just how precious this part of her is to me even now, and to her someday as well.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Meeting our girl...

We’ve met the girl!!!
I’m sitting here in a gorgeous hotel room with panoramic views of the South China Sea, sorting through hundreds of photos (and who knows how much video!) of the most incredible of afternoons. After a long but beautiful ride through 200+ miles (ie. 6 ½ slow hours) of Vietnamese countryside, we finally arrived in the Ninh Thuan province, the birthplace and home of our daughter! We settled into our hotel, ate a quick lunch, and then set off for the “center.” I had butterflies, tears in my eyes, and was just overwhelmed with the idea that we were finally about to meet Reagan! I recognized the gate from pictures, but was a little disoriented at first because the orphanage is going through some renovations. The blue building where I was sure we’d ascend the stairs to see Reagan for the first time is now pink! And it’s empty! The children have all been temporarily moved to an adjacent building, which we followed our agency’s staff to the front of. Then, without any ceremony or warning, the caregivers started bringing out the babies. Reagan was the first one out – I didn’t recognize her name when they said it, but I knew her face immediately. She was happy, calm and came to me right away! I had wondered many times if I would even know which child was mine, but those fears were quickly displaced with joy and awe. She’s adorable, sweet, very easy going. Dan, my mom and dad all took turns holding her, while my uncles captured everything on video and stills for us. She was happy to be passed around and cuddled with us for most of the hour and a half we were there. I got to feed her a bottle, and the caregivers were content to let me comfort her when she did get a little sad at one point. They made her laugh so we could see her smile, and just kind of let us be a family. After a little time had passed, we realized that while we’re going to have a lifetime to enjoy Reagan, we would only have a few short hours to experience the place and people she’s spent the last six months with. So, we started snapping pictures and interacting with the other children too. They all loved getting their picture taken, crowding so close that it was a little difficult to get a decent shot. The highlight though was watching them view themselves on our camera. I think that was a bigger hit than the candy and snacks we passed out! We also got lots of shots of the babies – especially those with families waiting for them in the states. (Be patient Dillon families, I’m going to try to send them off to Jynger soon, but the connection is pretty slow here– we really are in the middle of nowhere!).
Tomorrow we’ll do a little sightseeing in the morning and visit the orphanage again in the afternoon. Then, on Tuesday Reagan will be ours for good! I thought it might be harder to leave her there today, but we were exhausted – physically and emotionally – and I’m actually grateful that we’re able to ease into this life change gradually. It feels a bit like the first day or two in the hospital after giving birth: you’re thrilled to have finally been able to see and hold the child you’ve loved for so long, but so tired that letting someone else care for them while you recover doesn’t seem so bad.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

We’re here!!! It still seems very surreal, but we’re actually, finally in Vietnam, and tomorrow we will meet Reagan! Our flight was as smooth as could be expected. We were able to sleep quite a bit and so far haven’t been too affected by jet lag. The other families from our agency had two flights before the long haul, so we felt very fortunate having only about 24 hours of total travel time.
We arrived just in time for lunch, which we enjoyed at the Highland Coffee shop, chosen primarily because of its american-ish food (way too hungry to be adventurous!) and its proximity to our hotel (ie – didn’t involve braving any crosswalks). We explored the mall, which includes a great grocery store (plenty of familiar snacks for those of you traveling soon!) and (the strangest part I thought) – an entire aisle, both sides, devoted entirely to Top Ramen. Then my mom and I treated ourselves to the best manicure/pedicure/massage I’ve ever had. 5 women worked on us non-stop for over an hour and half for less than the price I’d pay for a quick pedi alone at home. We really do feel rich here! Dinner was at the Rex, adjacent to the famous rooftop garden. We took a quick peak of the sites from there, but will save the rest of our Saigon adventures for next week.
I’m now doing my best to stay awake long enough to be able to call home. It’s not yet 7am there, but I’m fading quickly and Dan is already out cold. Thanks to all of you who have been praying for me about leaving Alyssa and Parker! My last post expressed the worst of it, and I’ve been doing surprisingly well since then. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since “the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16), but I really did expect to be a bit of a basket case. It helped that the kids were not the least bit sad to see us go. In fact, they were literally pushing us out the door in excitement over all that their grandparents, aunts and uncles have planned for them. I have no doubt that they’ll have a fabulous time without us, and by this time tomorrow I’ll be occupied with memories of meeting our third precious baby. Tomorrow I’ll try to post again from our beautiful hotel on the South China Sea, only miles away from Reagan!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

It’s funny, after all this waiting I’m not all that anxious to leave for Vietnam. In some respects I’m very excited. I know that our union with Reagan will be like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve dreamed about it for so long that it’s hard to fathom that just a week from today she will be ours forever. I have no doubt that we will look back on this time with wonder and joy.
However, I am going to pieces trying to prepare myself for the fact that I won’t get hold Alyssa and Parker for three whole weeks. I’ve been packed for a while, so I’ve really been able to spend the last week focused on enjoying them. Which is a good thing… mostly. The hard part about that is, I’ve had lots of time to contemplate just how much I’m going to miss them. They are such a joy to be around. We laugh together, play, learn (Alyssa learned how to ride a bike this week – no training wheels! - more about that later), shop, eat, cuddle, just hang out. The longest I’ve ever been away from them is four days. Since I don’t work outside the home and neither of them are in school, we’re together a lot. And I love it! Of course at times parenting is hard. They’re not perfect, but I (unbiased as I am) think that they are very well behaved, kind, thoughtful kids.
I’m not normally an especially emotional person, but I’ve barely been able to hold it together any time I’ve kissed or held or even smelled them lately. Dan had a good insight on this: He said that our time away will just make us appreciate them more. I can already see that he is right. I have treasured every little moment this week. I’ve taken more pictures, more video, spent more time putting them to bed, turned the music off in the car just to talk. Things I should do all the time, but neglect when I start to take them for granted.
I’ve not doubted that leaving them here is the right choice for our family. In my head, I’m confident that they will be better off here, Reagan will be better served with them here, and even I will enjoy Vietnam more with them here. But my heart hasn’t gotten the message. I’m hoping and praying that in a few days I’ll be so wrapped up in my new daughter that the pain of missing Alyssa and Parker will lessen. I know that God is in control. I am confident that this is His plan for us. I have no doubt He will sustain me and cause me to trust in Him even more through the final steps of this trust-inducing process. I also believe that He loves and cares for my children even more than I do. He’ll take care of us and them, but I know that more than a few tears will be shed. This just isn’t what I’ve always imagined this time would feel like.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

As we finally get ready to go meet our precious daughter, it’s probably time to prepare you, our friends and family, for what it might be like when we return home.
It’s obvious that Reagan’s first 6 months of life have been very different from that of Alyssa and Parker. While we believe that her caretakers truly do the best they can for her, they have not had the opportunity to provide the same attention, love and consistency that a parent can. She has already suffered the loss of her birthparents, and will soon be ripped away from everything and everyone she has ever known. She will likely be confused, scared, and insecure. It will take time for her to learn that we love her and will always be there for her. Never in her short life have all of her needs been met by one individual. We will need to teach her what it’s like to have a mommy, a daddy and a family.
In light of that, we will treat her differently than we did our biological children. We happily passed Alyssa and Parker around to anyone who wanted a turn, starting with their first days in hospital rooms filled with dozens of loving on-lookers. Unfortunately, we can’t give you all that chance right away with Reagan. We want to share her! We’re anxious for you all to get to know and love her! But we also believe that it’s in her best interest to hold her a little tighter than we did with our other two, literally and figuratively. We will hold her a lot. We will probably spoil her a bit. We will probably seem overprotective. We will be her sole and devoted caretakers. Dan and I will be the only ones to change her diaper, feed her, bathe her, dress her, and comfort her for a while. Outside of our home, we will be the only ones to hold her. We won’t leave her in the nursery, and it will even be some time before we leave her with grandma and grandpa.
That doesn’t mean we don’t want you to love and enjoy her. That doesn’t mean that you can’t touch her, hug her, kiss her, or interact with her, but it does mean that you’re going to have to trust us. Please don’t be offended or disappointed when we don’t place her in your arms. We’ve spent a lot of time researching how best to help her through this incredibly tumultuous time in her little life, and believe that this is the best way…for now. In time, we will happily remove these protective barriers from her life, but we don’t know when that time will come. At this point, we don’t know Reagan any more than you do. We love her, pray for her, and hope that she will soon come to love and trust us. However, we don’t know what that process will look like, and have no idea if it will take weeks, or months, or more. So please be patient. We know you will be. You have all been so supportive and loving from the time we first decided to adopt, and we have no doubt that you will continue to support and pray for us during this time of transition. We’re going from a family of four to a family of five. Reagan is going from no family, no real home, nothing to call her own, to all the craziness that living with us will entail! So please pray for her, pray for wisdom for us, and be willing to wait just a little bit longer to hold our baby girl!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

My handy-dandy Sitemeter tells me that quite a few of you are checking up on me, yet I know I’ve not been very faithful to fill you all in on what’s going on. You're not going to get much of an update now, but needless to say I’ve had just a few things to do, not the least of which is spending every possible second enjoying Alyssa and Parker. Before last Thursday I was pretty sure I had everything under control and was ready to go. Now that we actually have our tickets (yes, the FedEx man delivered them today!), I’m feeling a little less confident. I know the major stuff is done, and if the last few items on my list don’t get checked off, we’ll survive. However, the perfectionist in me wants to have every last detail wrapped up, and to leave a clean house behind too! So what am I doing tomorrow to prepare? Going to Disneyland of course! Chances of us making it back there in June are not great with a new baby at home, our annual passes are blacked-out in July and August (and who wants to go with the crowds anyway?) and Alyssa starts Kindergarten mid-August. So, the paperwork and lists can wait, the cleaning can wait... my kids need to visit the happiest place on earth! (And mommy could use the distraction too!).