Sunday, May 06, 2007

As we finally get ready to go meet our precious daughter, it’s probably time to prepare you, our friends and family, for what it might be like when we return home.
It’s obvious that Reagan’s first 6 months of life have been very different from that of Alyssa and Parker. While we believe that her caretakers truly do the best they can for her, they have not had the opportunity to provide the same attention, love and consistency that a parent can. She has already suffered the loss of her birthparents, and will soon be ripped away from everything and everyone she has ever known. She will likely be confused, scared, and insecure. It will take time for her to learn that we love her and will always be there for her. Never in her short life have all of her needs been met by one individual. We will need to teach her what it’s like to have a mommy, a daddy and a family.
In light of that, we will treat her differently than we did our biological children. We happily passed Alyssa and Parker around to anyone who wanted a turn, starting with their first days in hospital rooms filled with dozens of loving on-lookers. Unfortunately, we can’t give you all that chance right away with Reagan. We want to share her! We’re anxious for you all to get to know and love her! But we also believe that it’s in her best interest to hold her a little tighter than we did with our other two, literally and figuratively. We will hold her a lot. We will probably spoil her a bit. We will probably seem overprotective. We will be her sole and devoted caretakers. Dan and I will be the only ones to change her diaper, feed her, bathe her, dress her, and comfort her for a while. Outside of our home, we will be the only ones to hold her. We won’t leave her in the nursery, and it will even be some time before we leave her with grandma and grandpa.
That doesn’t mean we don’t want you to love and enjoy her. That doesn’t mean that you can’t touch her, hug her, kiss her, or interact with her, but it does mean that you’re going to have to trust us. Please don’t be offended or disappointed when we don’t place her in your arms. We’ve spent a lot of time researching how best to help her through this incredibly tumultuous time in her little life, and believe that this is the best way…for now. In time, we will happily remove these protective barriers from her life, but we don’t know when that time will come. At this point, we don’t know Reagan any more than you do. We love her, pray for her, and hope that she will soon come to love and trust us. However, we don’t know what that process will look like, and have no idea if it will take weeks, or months, or more. So please be patient. We know you will be. You have all been so supportive and loving from the time we first decided to adopt, and we have no doubt that you will continue to support and pray for us during this time of transition. We’re going from a family of four to a family of five. Reagan is going from no family, no real home, nothing to call her own, to all the craziness that living with us will entail! So please pray for her, pray for wisdom for us, and be willing to wait just a little bit longer to hold our baby girl!


Daniel and Jamie said...

Very well said! We will be praying for your transition.

Stacy said...

I agree, very well said. This is such a difficult concept to explain to excited family and friends and I think you phrased it all perfectly. Good luck on your trip!

Anonymous said...


You did a wonderful job of describing WHY things have to be different with your newest little one! It is hard to put into words sometimes why we have to treat Khoa different than we would a "normal" four year old. I may just have to give some folks your blog address!!

Congrats and I will be praying for all of the families that are about to travel.

Crystal said...

HI--I am a first time poster and I am sooo excited for you!!!! ooh my goodness I have tears in my eyes!!!! We just brought our sweet Sophie home in January and we are in the midst of gathering documents for our dossier to do it all over again!!! I am so so so excited for you and your family!!! We did this too--exactly what you posted on here and you will be amazed --these little ones do wonderfully really they do!!! I am soooo excited to follow your journey!!!! hugs to you!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Reagan will thrive under your watchful eye and loving arms. I'm so excited to see pictures of you together at last!!!

LaLa said...

She will do great!!! So happy for you!