Monday, July 05, 2010

It's a boy!

We're on a paperchase for a little guy! I've explained a little bit about our journey to Danny's "yes" and a bit more about where we're going, but not much of anything about who this newest member of our family might be.
Though it seems a little strange to be able to "shop" for the characteristics you want in a child, adoption does afford that opportunity to some extent. The vast majority of the adoption process is completely outside of our control. So is our child's history and everything else that will influence his personality, health and development until we bring him home. We are given a little control however over the superficial characteristics we're willing to parent. We therefore, have carefully thought through our options, submitted our leanings to God's ultimate authority, and trusted Him to provide us with wisdom and counsel for making the decision that will most glorify Him.
All of that has led us to a preference for a little boy. From the most pragmatic of standpoints, it will even us up at two girls, two boys, and make the room-sharing thing a snap. When we told the kids our new child might be a boy Alyssa was initially a little disappointed. She contemplated it for a moment however, and then concluded, "Parker, I think this will be a great thing. Then I won't have to play swords with you anymore!" Parker indeed, could use a brother as he routinely laments his sisters' intense interest in dolls and ambivalence towards all weaponry.
We also were drawn towards requesting a male because more boys need homes. Generally speaking, more adoptive parents prefer girls. I'm not sure why, though we fell into this category with our first adoption. Our preference then was based on a desire to have a girl-boy-girl family, so that at least if Parker had to be the middle child he would have the distinction of the only boy. Who knew that God would have four in store for us?! We also pretty ignorant about all things adoption-related, and had no idea that so many little guys out there needed families. Now we'll have the opportunity to be blessed by two of each.
Many people then have found it strange that we're going to China. "Doesn't China only have little girls available?" is a question I've been asked more than once. The answer, generally, is yes if you want an infant. Which brings us to another characteristic we strangely get to shop for: age. We love having our kids close together. Alyssa and Parker are just 19 months apart, and Reagan was born 28 months after Parker. We initially thought we'd be bringing home a toddler from Vietnam and would have had #2 and #3 even closer together. I'd actually given away all of our baby stuff and was quite thoroughly shocked to have been referred an infant. Of course, in retrospect God knew exactly what He was doing and brought the child into our life that was and is perfect for our family. Reagan didn't even seem to mind sleeping in a pack 'n play and having her diaper changed on top of the washing machine!
Given the fact that Reagan will be four in October, we really didn't want to start over with another baby. I suppose it's no surprise that there's also a greater need for families willing to adopt older children. There were certainly be extra challenges involved in bringing home a preschooler vs. an infant, but we believe that the benefits to our child and to our family will far outweigh them. Our hope is that we will be matched with a boy about a year younger than Reagan, up to maybe an 18 month spread. That will mean that he'll probably be between three and three-and-a-half when he comes home.
Another distinctive of the China program (and many programs with older children) is that our little boy will have some special needs. China currently has a list of 1800 children waiting for families with needs ranging from blindness to a corrected cleft lip. We are open to a range of needs, but prefer something of the mild or correctable variety. That, again, is something we choose, and we'll work closely with our agency to select someone from that list that would be the best fit for our family. Even if our guy isn't on the list right now, children are added about once a month and we have no doubt that we'll quickly be able to identify the boy God has in store for us.
We're anxiously awaiting the opportunity to share with you even more details about who our little guy is. You'll know as soon as we do!


M or J said...

Wow, wow, wow, Laura. My respect for you and Danny just doubled. You both have such kind hearts and are willing to do what I never could. Bringing home a little 3 year old boy would be hard enough, but one that speaks a different language and has medical needs is just amazing. God is doing great things through you guys! What a story this is! How incredible. I have so much to pray for you guys about and it's thrilling!

Kim said...

AWESOME Laura, I just now realized you are in the process again! Congrats to your family! We are currently in process through Nepal. all paperwork is over there and we are just waiting to be matched! God is amazing!

Rebecca Pierce said...

Wow, that was all fun to read. I started at the beginning and I'm excited that you got your "yes", that you had the wisdom to allow God to speak to Danny and that he's the kind of man who was willing to listen! I am so passionate about fostering and adoption of local children, and know next to nothing (just from your experience documented on your blog) about international adoption. I love all the info and how passionate you are about it! All children need parents as loving as you and Danny. I recently became aware of a little seven year old who needed a home and I contacted a childless friend of mine and THEY ADOPTED HER! It was so exciting to be a part of it, and to see how they needed each other and were meant to be a family. That is one major miracle of adoption, that once that family is formed, it feels predestined, planned before this life. So amazing. Can't wait to hear more!

Jill and Andy said...

That is so wonderful!!! So happy for your family!

By the Brook said...

YAY! I remember a long while ago saying how you need to have another one so we can be the same. Amazing how the Lord has used this to teach patience. So glad it's a boy!

Heather M. said...

How Exciting!!! No matter the age nor medical conditions...he'll be your child...Forever! I love our boys being so close; I wish Caleigh was a bit closer to them in age, but it wasn't meant to be. Can't wait to see a picture of your newest addition! I hope your wait isn't long; I know it's much anticipated!!!