Wednesday, August 08, 2007

2 decades

Starting next week, my life will be dramatically changed for at least the next 20 years. Our precious big girl, Alyssa, will be starting kindergarten, and so begins 2 decades of waking up early, rushing out the door, and watching my children establish a life increasingly more independent of me. Though it’s only “half” day, the fact that she still naps means our time together will be cut to a few precious hours in the afternoons and evenings. We haven’t put our children in pre-school for the precise reason that I love being around them. I am jealous of this unique stage where life revolves around mom and home, and couldn’t bear to share it with anyone but Dan and grandmas on occasion. I don’t work outside the home but for a college course I teach one evening a week, 26 weeks a year, so being away from Alyssa every weekday will be a little like ripping out a part of my heart. She couldn’t be more excited, but I couldn’t be more reluctant. In some ways I am looking forward to the routine, but I dread the fact that our family’s schedule will now be inextricably linked to the school’s. Homeschooling is not a choice I have ever thought would be good for our family, but I can understand the sentiment behind it more and more. We are now trying to squeeze every little bit of fun out of our last week of freedom, and praying that this dreaded even will not be quite as bad as I’ve imagined!

3 comments:

Nicki said...

I love hearing Moms talk about how sad they are to see their little ones go off and how much they enjoy their time together! It really bums me out to talk to people who dread spending time with their own kids, ya know?

rachel said...

((hugs!) I know exactly what you are feeling and it's sooooo hard to send your little baby out into the world. Last year when Ava started kindergarten I watched her walk in with her class wishing I could just throw her back in the car and go home!! But she LOVED school to no end, so that made it so much easier. I'm sure Alyssa will love school as well. She'll do great!!! You'll have to to post pics of the first day. :)

Shirley said...

I must say...it isn't any easier for the grandma(s)...I know I speak for both of us. And I too know just exactly how you are feeling...just last week I read in Michelle's baby book about her first day of Kindergarten. How she had cried the night before...'cause she didn't want to go...how I prayed that God would change her heart...(and He did...at least for the first few days)...but how I "bawled" when she went into her class on that first day. It IS a new chapter...and you will cherish every holiday (even if you don't actually believe why they are honoring that particular person/event)...and every vacation. And it does afford you special times with Parker and Reagan...which is a wonderful blessing!!!
I have always said that I hated to leave the current phase we were in...only to find out that the next phase was better than the last. I hated to see my children move out of our home and into their new lives...but look what I would have missed out on....3 more wonderful children(thru marriage)...and 5 amazing grandchildren.
Love,
Tilly