2 decades

Starting next week, my life will be dramatically changed for at least the next 20 years. Our precious big girl, Alyssa, will be starting kindergarten, and so begins 2 decades of waking up early, rushing out the door, and watching my children establish a life increasingly more independent of me. Though it’s only “half” day, the fact that she still naps means our time together will be cut to a few precious hours in the afternoons and evenings. We haven’t put our children in pre-school for the precise reason that I love being around them. I am jealous of this unique stage where life revolves around mom and home, and couldn’t bear to share it with anyone but Dan and grandmas on occasion. I don’t work outside the home but for a college course I teach one evening a week, 26 weeks a year, so being away from Alyssa every weekday will be a little like ripping out a part of my heart. She couldn’t be more excited, but I couldn’t be more reluctant. In some ways I am looking forward to the routine, but I dread the fact that our family’s schedule will now be inextricably linked to the school’s. Homeschooling is not a choice I have ever thought would be good for our family, but I can understand the sentiment behind it more and more. We are now trying to squeeze every little bit of fun out of our last week of freedom, and praying that this dreaded even will not be quite as bad as I’ve imagined!